My husband has had personality changes for years. Now, I feel like his very "self" has vacated

lizblock

My husband was identified this year Early Alzheimers through a lumbar puncture. His symptoms have manifested for at least 18 months. He basically stopped talking beyond the basics. Prior to this big change, he had many personality changes- did not want to travel, said everything was too expensive, always saying "that's impossible". Now I see that as fear.

But, I also get this strong sense of his inner self being sucked out of his body. Or maybe his inner self is in there but he seems vacant. He even looks vacant in family pictures. Does anyone else have similar experiences?

SDianeL

My husband has dementia stage 5 toward 6. He still communicates but it's becoming more difficult. He looks distant in pictures. Doesn't smile. Doesn't look at the camera. Like he doesn't understand what's happening. HIs daughter visited last week from out of state and they visited the cemetery where his parents & grandparents are buried. I took a picture of him and showed him later and he asked me who it was. He doesn't recognize himself. He called his grandson his daughter's brother. She cried. He no longer remembers who family members are. You are right when you describe it as "vacant"

Found this: Understanding the Vacant Look in Alzheimer’s Patients

"Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive brain disorder that affects memory, thinking, and behavior. One of the most common symptoms of Alzheimer’s is the vacant look that patients often display. This look can be unsettling for family members and caregivers, but it is a natural part of the disease. When a person with Alzheimer’s displays a vacant look, it means that they are experiencing a disconnect between their brain and their environment. They may be unable to process the information around them or may be lost in their own thoughts. This can lead to confusion, disorientation, and even fear."

have no idea why the print is so large and bold.....

harshedbuzz

@lizblock

My dad wasn't diagnosed with mixed dementia until well into the middle stages in 2016 but I saw significant personality changes as early as 2005. This was at least 3 years before I was aware of his issues with memory. My dad and I didn't enjoy an easy relationship, but I noticed his personality turned darker with others which impacted my parents' social life. They moved twice in this period to give dad a "do-over"; by 2012 he'd burned though family on both sides and most of their friends. I was about the only person to visit and I only did so to keep an eye on my mom's well-being.

He did become more frugal over time. I'm not entirely sure why. Maybe it was because he wasn't fully oriented to time and sometimes he mentally traveled to the 1970s which made prices in the last 10 years seem surreal. Maybe it was a reflection of his general anxiety around feeling vulnerable. Or maybe it was the $360K he lost day-trading. This was manifested in his refusal to maintain his houses to the level he would have previously-- this was a real 180 change for him. His house in MD had a white-on-white kitchen and when the microwave range hood died, he bought the cheapest off-brand black one he could find which saved him $20. The house was open concept so it looked awful until the off-brand microwave broke a few months later and I ordered the white-on-white model to be delivered and installed.

That look you are describing sounds like a flat affect. It's often seen where there is some brain difference that includes apathy as a symptom. In dementia, I think it's an extension of the loss of enjoyment around previously enjoyed hobbies and activities. With my dad, this flatness extended to his eyes themselves. He had beautiful green eyes but with dementia they reminded me of those of freshly caught fish on ice.

HB

MN Chickadee

Yeah my mom looked distant and different in all our photos of her last couple years. We also noticed personality changes in the middle stages. Even though she had been an elementary teacher her whole career Alz caused her to start to not like children and pick on her grandkids. She also threatened my dad with divorce after 40+ happy years. Said she would go move in with her brother who she couldn't stand her entire life. We had to just let it all roll off and deflect. Just really unusual changes. Those stages were some of the hardest. She was difficult to please and anxious during that time but it did even out as she progressed and she became more content.