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Newly diagnosed/driving us nuts !

Fulcher
Fulcher Member Posts: 2 Member
edited July 2023 in Caring for a Parent

My mother in law has been with us for a year now. She has always had a bizarre personality and often attention seeking behaviors. She isn’t very honest either and wants to go every time someone goes out the door to do something. She just got a diagnosis of early onset ATZ She can’t take her meds on her own even if they are placed in an organizer that’s labeled with the morning noon evening or even the actual times. But she makes coffee every morning.

She won’t eat if she is alone even if make something and leave it for her. She won’t eat if you don’t eat with her at the table. She is intrusive and insists on going everywhere with us. Every day she demands the keys to her broken car when she things we are going somewhere or one of us have gone somewhere. She has gotten angry and dented a frying pan by hitting up against the new refrigerator when we left and didn’t take her. She has made many of dents in our stove and our refrigerator. She made a statement “ remember when you all left and I thought why can’t I go I’m just left doing the dishes “. That was a few weeks after we went out. That’s when she dented the frying pan.

She admitted to dropping on the floor and that’s what caused the dent. She also scrubbed off nearly all of the letters and numbers on our new glass top stove. She aggravate the heck out of my husband. She puts dishes in random places and I can’t find anything. I am ready to leave cuz it’s driving me crazy I can’t do anything about it. Because of my intolerance he has to take her with him when he works He travels and is gone sometimes for 3 weeks. She does snd says things to him that she doesn’t do around me. If we get into it she calls someone and to see if she can live with them. She has always done what she has wanted and she isn’t happy no matter we’re late she has lived. No one tells her no. My husband gives in to her her all the time. When she first came she said there are dead puppies outside and people in the garden or elsewhere. One day I put dead grass and hay on the dark stump were the dead puppies are located. She looked out the window and paused and said someone put grass over it. Then stated I was only worried that A and T would see them. My husbands grown sons.

Today she pecked on the bedroom door and asked for me. She did that several times. When my husband got up she said there were coyotes outside. He ignored her all together. We had been having issues with bears and coyotes so it’s has required our “attention.” She cooked bacon and fried potatoes and heated up left over biscuits for breakfast ( we have to cook for her ) while she is cooking she mentions coyotes and I don’t respond. She goes silent. Then again to my husband and I’m outside now. I hear him get upset. She was relentless in asking until someone responded. He took her outside and walked to the tree and showed her that no one was up in the trees. She stopped. She stops when you take her to it or threaten to call the police for trespassers.

I honestly think she is acting a lot …she admits she is a good actress. I’m done with it all and I want to move out now. My husband won’t set boundaries with her. When he drives away with her in his rental car for 3 weeks something so painful happens inside me that I can’t understand. I just know it really hurts ! Please help me figure this out if you can. Please


also she recalled this morning that my husband was taking his son back home today. She writes complete sentences and recalls what she needs at the grocery store she has no problems with finding words. She even recalls my granddaughters visits and even her name. She remembers our new kittens name too. She showers and dresses herself but soils the toilet all the time cuz she hovers over it like a public bathroom toilet. She is my husbands shadow. She seems to not have no care for anyone but herself. All she talks about is herself. She even told me yesterday how much she liked my husbands ex wife and thought that would have been ok if it wasn’t for her parents. She acts perfectly normal at times and other times she acts like she can’t do anything. Ex can’t even place an order at a restaurant and acts like a zombie. When she rides with me she doesn’t do any or complain about the things she does when she is with him. She aggravates him to no end.

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Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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