Guilty…uncomfortable 😞

ckudlinski

My father is 84 has become obsessed with.. why I will not get back together with him. He’s constantly asking for a kiss, to touch me, telling me he’s sorry, telling me he loves me, sneaks up behind me and hugs me and if my husband of 32 years is home.. he whispers it. I remind him I’m his daughter. He says I know. Sometimes tell him my childhood memories. He gets extremely mad, sad and even cries. I can’t get him to do anything when he’s mad. We do have help 3 days a week for half day but maybe it’s not enough. I feel guilty for getting him up set BUT It’s just very uncomfortable. Thank you

Abqgirl

I am going through the same thing. It's horrible and I have just decided I cannot deal with it. My dad just moved into our home this past Saturday and I'm already over it. Constantly telling me I'm gorgeous, beautiful, how nice I look. I was feeling like maybe I was overreacting but I am now confident I am definitely NOT overreacting.

Do you have an alternate plan? I am going to have to put my dad in a long term facility.

bjohnsen3869

I moved my dad in with me 3 weeks ago and he was obsessed in a sexual way but was constantly hugging me telling me how good I was and how much he loved me and that I was his girl…….funny, he never once said or did that to me once I was over the age of 12. He needed my constant attention and engagement, otherwise he would get very sad I couldn’t sustain it I have 13 and 10 year old. I moved my dad to assisted living Monday and he is struggling there and the guilt is killing me. I encourage you to seek long term facility care.

Ci2Ci

FWIW: Patterns that I've recognized in my mother's dementia:

She can identify me by correct name and that I'm her daughter, and yet assign memories of her sister to me. She seems to know the two are distinct, but her mind jumbles up the information. (Make her interrogations of me challenging. Pivot, pivot!)

My mother's memories now start at around 1980. So, she thinks that I am a little girl still. ...When I was her 24/7 caretaker, problems arose when she started getting suspicious and fearful about this "stranger" who knew so much about her life and was pretending to be her daughter. It is when these episodes of stranger danger started (rather suddenly), that I had to place her in a care facility -- for both our safety.

When I speak with her on the phone (which is several times per week), I only ever state my name -- never that I am her daughter. But, she always seems to know me as her daughter. There is no face to confuse her or make her fearful/suspicious.

When I visit her in person, if she doesn't immediately identify me as her daughter, I just say that I'm a friend from church visiting.