My plan for a future without my DW

Ronk246

Hi Y'all,

I cannot describe how much this site has helped me. My DW was diagnosed with Amnestic MCI in June 2022. This site convinced me to convince her she should stop driving. This site has given me so many suggestions about how to go about what I'm dealing with now as well as how to plan for what I'll be dealing with in the future.

I want to share something I thought of recently, it may benefit some others. We have been married for 55 wonderful years, many laughs, many friends, memories of trips all over the world. I thought it would be fun for us to watch some of our experiences on our big screen TV connected to my computer, where all our photos are stored.

Watching her laugh at so many things made me want to keep these memories for a gray future without her being able to share them with me. So I've begun videoing her, (without her knowledge. It's easy to do with my cell phone while we're looking at the photos).

Visualizing that gray future, I realized I have never lived alone. Before marriage, after leaving home, I lived with another guy in an apartment, then in the US Army, in a barracks. We did not have children, so no support or comfort there. The idea of living alone, being without her is unfathomable to me.

So down the road, after she has left me in mind if not yet in body, I will have these memories of us, together, watching our lives and laughing with each other. I've also begun to video her while we watch a movie at home and while we're out to dinner with friends, (the friends know, she does not).

I hope it will be a long time before I need to make use of these videos, but it is a comfort to know I have them. And if someone else needs and does the same, that is a plus.

God Bless us all!

mommafour

Ronk246 - That's a wonderful idea for your comfort and good memories of your DW in the future. My DH is declining faster lately, so you have given me the idea to start videoing the more positive times now. I realize sometime in the future I will long to hear his voice just being at home, talking and laughing. Thanks for sharing your idea.

annie51

Ronk246, what a wonderful idea! My DH can still enjoy watching the pictures and videos of our many trips, although he doesn't remember most of them. But he does have his moments where he gives me that impish smile of his, makes me laugh like he used to or remembers something I was sure he'd forgotten. We, too, have no children so the thought of living alone scares me also. I don't have many recent videos of him, only pictures, so thank you for the idea.

Also, one additional note on the comment from mommafour about hearing his voice. I have an acquaintance whose DW is about 8 years into ALZ. She's at the stage where she doesn't speak anymore and he told me how much he misses hearing her voice. I don't know if DH will get to that stage also, but that stuck with me and the video idea may help with that.

Ed1937

Ronk, what a great idea! Like you, I have never lived alone. Since I lost my wife last year, I've had a few weeks alone, but my son lives with me now. I expect him to be moving out soon, so I'll have to deal with being alone for longer periods of time. I have quite a few pics of my wife, and I look at them quite often, but no videos. I think you'll be glad you did that.