Worsening symptoms with loved one in Assisted Living

KellyDerickson

As this disease continues to narrow our loved one's mind and ability to process fundamental information, she is getting increasingly panicked. She was doing very well in her assisted living atmosphere but recently has become more combative about 'wanting out' and 'forgetting and losing things.' General confusion. And she calls us 10-20 times a day. Sometimes we can talk, and sometimes it goes to voicemail. In most cases, it is begging and pleading for us to come in.

I tend to go a lot. It's getting more complicated. Some say, go less. My gut says when I am there, it calms her down. But it makes me grumpy and angry and constantly feel overwhelmed. So many questions here, but how have you successfully helped your loved one as their symptoms worsen in helpful and healthy ways? Our only other helper is my husband, who works full-time. My dear friends fill in when necessary. We have one paid 'companion' for two hours to give me one day off.

terei

I would not talk to her on then phone unless you are the one calling. (Once a day?)Constant phone calls are ‘ramping her up’ IMO. You might talk to her Dr about an anti anxiety med that could help.

I would say, less contact, not more, is something I would try . If she has a phone where she can press one number to make a call to you, IMO that should be disabled or the phone should be ‘disappeared’ or disabled. The facility will call you if there is a need for your attention.

ButterflyWings

If she is in AL, perhaps it is not the right level of support for her anymore. Is there an MC option attached to her AL for when dementia progression occurs? (as it always will...)

M1

Would agree with both of the above suggestions. The calls/anxiety may be a sign that she needs a different level of care. And there definitely comes a point where the telephone becomes superfluous, sounds like you are probably there.