One more question…….should I talk to him over phone?

bjohnsen3869

I didn’t bring his phone to the AL because he doesn’t remember how to use it and if he does finally figure it out he calls me over and over and over again. I told him I was going out of town so I haven’t called him. I was going to go tomorrow but delayed my visit so it won’t be as hard for him. Should I call him through the facility and assure him I’m coming back? He isn’t great on the phone so I’m not sure if he would even realize he was talking to me. When he sees me…….he knows I’m his baby girl.

M1

B, you might ask if they have a way of letting you do a Facetime call. A lot of facilities did this during the pandemic, and they may have a dedicated iPad or similar that some of the staff could help him use.

Wise decision to not take the phone. From what you're describing though, i wonder if he's more suited to MC than AL. This is not uncommon. There's a saying on these boards that by the time families are willing to considet AL for their LO, that ship has sailed and what's really needed is MC. You may be in that boat, so to speak.

bjohnsen3869

Thanks, M1

ive thought about this myself. The memory care unit is just down the hall. If facility suggests that I will move him. I just wanted to start out in AL just because he would have a bedroom plus a living room. He has never been one to be in the room where his bed is, other than sleeping. I’ve been watching him on the ring cameras and communicating with facility and it seems, at least for now, he is ok. It’s a relatively small facility and all of the staff is trained in memory care. mC and AL residents activities are together. MC has more one on one care and locked hall.

Anonymousjpl123

How awesome the activities are together. It sounds like you made a good choice. I think the phone is not necessary if it adds to stress. Call the facility, make sure he’s ok, and I think your instinct not to call is the right one. If you are not in town, just as well he acclimate to his environment.

i have made the mistake of thinking I need to make everything ok for my mom (who is an AL with memory care) and it has never been true. Our LOs need a safe, caring environment and people around them. You are doing the right thing. I’m glad you took your trip. Let us know how it is when you see him.