Incontinence denial

tstorm

I moved my dad in AL about 6 weeks ago. He's started having incontinence issues and is peeing himself all the time. He was already extremely stubborn before the dementia. He denies that he's peeing himself, refuses to wear diapers, refuses any assistance with showering or changing. If they tell him his clothes are covered in pee or try to help him, he gets angry. They've told me if he won't start accepting care, he'll need to move to a skilled nursing facility where they can make him accept care. Any advice for dealing with this situation?

Emily 123

The change in environment may mean he's a bit disoriented. The AL will look unfamiliar to him for a while and he may be struggling cognitively to process all the new information or know where to go.

At this point he doesn't get to refuse to wear incontinence briefs.

Replace all his underwear with the briefs. Have the facility write a care plan to support daily (or twice daily) brief changes. (At my mom's place they're supposed take out the bathroom trash each day and to cue her if a pair isn't in trash.)

Another poster had good luck with these and my mom likes them--a little more expensive, but softer and more absorbent than the depends. You can also buy the booster pads to fit inside the briefs to supply more absorbancy.

https://www.parentgiving.com/collections/dry-direct-by-parentgiving

harshedbuzz

If this is a hospitality-model AL, then it's not the right setting for the level of care he needs at this point. Telling a PWD who has anosognosia and a difficult personality they're wearing urine-soaked clothing isn't something a well-trained aide would typically do.

If you can afford a MCF, that would be a better option than SNF if he's just starting with incontinence. The standard advice for getting a PWD into disposable incontinence products is to replace their regular underwear with something like Depends in one of the more "brief-like" designs. And we don't ever call them diapers-- they're briefs or panties. My aunt introduced them to her sister as "paper panties" to save on laundry and not stress the septic system.

If he absolutely will not accept disposable, they do make washable incontinence products.

Mens Washable Incontinence Underwear | Leak Proof Protection – CARERSPK

HB

M1

Just read your other thread too. He may need memory care more than assisted living, this is a frequent occurrence on these boards. Part of the difficulty may be that he is at the wrong level. That said, resistance to care happens in memory care too.

mpang123

My dad is bladder and bowel incontinent. He wears a catheter and changed it every month by his urologist. I give him prune juice for his constipation and he sits in the commode for 30 minutes in case he has a bowel movement. He does that several times a day until he passes stool. He also wears a diaper just in case he can't make it.