My Mom is following me all the time

lostdaughter58

My Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease last October. She scored very low on her MOCA test. The Neurologist put her in the Moderate to Severe stage of this disease. She has been living with me since we sold her house. She goes to an adult daycare full time days so I can work.

The problem I am having is that my Mom follows me around all the time. I cannot do anything without her following behind me and watching me. It is seriously making me go insane. From the time I get up until I put myself to bed, I have my Mom attached to me like glue. Any suggestions or tips on how to deal with this would be very helpful for me.

M1

Welcome to the forum. Not that this helps, but there’s a name for this behavior, it’s called shadowing, and it’s pretty common. It’s as if our loved ones are depending on us for behavioral clues-or scaffolding, it’s also called- because they have none of their own any more. I wish I had ideas about what to do about it, but I don’t. Maybe others will.

harshedbuzz

Shadowing is one of those behaviors that seems benign enough until one is living it. Then it is crazy-making.

Dementia is about more than just memory loss, other issue are apathy and profound losses in executive function needed to initiate entertaining one's self. Early on, you might be able to set your LO up with a simple task like folding dish towels or mating socks, but if she's past that then getting a break is the only option. You could hire a caregiver to come in and entertain her while you leave and get a break or you could see if she'd be OK in a day program which would also give you the option to get things done around the house.

HB

lostdaughter58

Thank you for the comments! I have decided to add a companion for a few hours each weekend and see if that helps the situation.