Placement vs in home companionship

wkelser

My sister is the, in home, care for our Mother. All is going well enough, but, my sister has just found out she has a health issue that may require major surgery (maybe more than once). I will bring my sister into our home to help her through her post surgical time, but, am unsure about how to handle Mother's care. She cannot be home alone and I am not able to bring them both to my home, as my husband and I are already caring for our daughter (who is going through treatments for a back injury). We cannot afford an, in home nurse, and Mother needs some care (meals, showering, the occasional clean up, etc.) but is not in any medical need at this time.

We are talking about possibly placing her in a facility during the recovery time. My fear is once she is placed she will not be able to come back home. Please share your thoughts and experiences on this subject. I need wisdom and discernment that I don't have the experience for.

Quilting brings calm

I think that’s your best option. It’s possible she may not come home. It’s also possible your sister might not be up to caring for her for a while… or may not wish to at that point. It’s possible that you may find that the facility route is a good thing for your mom and your family.

Smilescountry

I don't have much experience with this, but I do know from visiting facilities that many offer respite care. You always have the choice to take her home. Are you worried that she will decline so much that your sister will not be able to take care of her, or might your sister not be able to take care of her at all? I think that your decision is probably based on a lot of different factors?

harshedbuzz

Another option might be for your sister to go to a rehab center for her care and for you to take on the care of your mother. Can you stay at her place for a while? Or would she need to be where you and your daughter are? If sister's insurance will cover rehab care, it would be the most cost-effective solution.

wkelser

Thank you all for answering and offering your insight on my mother's care. The doctor said he does not think my sister will need to go to a rehab hospital, but that is always a possibility with hip replacement. If she were to only go for a week or two I could possibly stay with my mother at her home, however, the amount of care I am required to provide for my daughter would need to be assumed/assisted by others...

Our fear of her declining due to being placed full time is probably the biggest reason for this discussion thread. She is in the mid part of the disease but I see signs that we are heading toward the later stages. My sister's response every time we discuss a facility for mom is still visceral and that makes it difficult to get very far on the topic. I am chipping away at it, slowly but surely.

As far as moving her to my home, I think the confusion would be on par with her moving to a facility but she would be with me, my husband and daughter. It is definitely an option but I am not sure about my ability to add her to the household with my daughter's needs.

You have given me a lot to consider. Thank you