Trying to deal with parent

Amulet

I believe my 87 year old mother has alzheimers. She hasnt been diagnosed with it but my sister and I have noticed signs that she has it. Her mother had it and it was really bad and hard to watch but now that we think my mom has it we dont really know how to handle things with her. She gets angry very easy and throws temper tantrums like a child right in the middle of a grocery store. She makes inappropiate comments to my sister and I. She forgets things quite a bit. This whole thing is hard to explain. I am not sure what to do so any advice would be appreciated.

Sandias

Amulet - welcome to the forum.

I am so sorry you and your sister now have to deal with the most dreadful disease that has no cure. I went through it with my mother and it was horrible.

I guess the first thing I recommend you do is to take your mother to her doctor. The doctor needs to know all the symptoms that she has exhibited. You may want to make a list on paper and give it to the doctor, so you don't have to say them out loud in front of your mother (if she lets you go in with her to see the doctor.) You ask the doctor for a referral to a neurologist who can test and diagnose her. Once you know what type of dementia (Alzheimer's being the most common, but it could be another type), you research and read up all you can about the disease.

Get your mother to appoint you or your sister as her medical and financial POA (power of attorney) as soon as you can while she's still cognizant enough to do so.

How is her financial situation? Does she have money to spend on her care? What is her living situation? Is she living with someone or by herself? Is she still driving? I hope not. Is she handling her own bills?

M1

Agree with the above. There are a few treatable things that should be ruled out--but you are likely right about the diagnosis. There are medications that could help with some of the behaviors, but more importantly you need to make sure she is in a safe living situation and as Sandias said, that you have power of attorney to keep her safe and secure. If you don't already have power of attorney, talk to a certified elder law attorney. If she can't handle the grocery store, you don't take her.