I’m back

Buggsroo

Hi everyone,

Just thought I would update everyone on what is happening here in Canada with my husband. I have had to select five more homes for my husband as he is still in the hospital.

This morning I had a conference call with the doctors and they are trying to control his behaviour as he acts out when they wash him, change his diaper etc. Here in Canada as I imagine in the US you can have the person admitted to hospital when keeping the person at home is no longer an option.

I was stunned when they told me he may need surgery for hydrocephalus and perhaps that is affecting his brain and behaviour. It is true he had fallen twice but I don’t think he hit his head.

My husband has been diagnosed with frontal temporal lobe dementia. I went to see him in the hospital and he was barely responsive. He did put his fingers on my arm, his fingers were cold and clammy. Honestly I was glad I was wearing a mask, I did not want him to see the tears in my eyes. Grief for me is like standing on a precipice, staring down into an abyss. I find I feel shaky and my footing is not sure.

I am now alone at the house, well I have my two cats, I am slowly rejoining the rest of the world. I am very ginger with people and I sleep a lot. I have been taking joy in my flowers and a few stray bees that visit. I realize people don’t want to hear about grief, they have been busy living their lives. This definitely is the undiscovered country.

Sorry for my absence, I will be back more often.

M1

Glad to hear from you. And so sorry. He is so, so ill. I hope you feel free to share your grief here.

Joe C.

Buggsroo, I’m sorry to hear of the decline in your husband’s condition. Please keep us posted.

ButterflyWings

Hey Buggsroo, thank you for thinking of us. You are in our thoughts too. Your description of grief resonates with me. It does feel like an unexplored bottomless pit, some days. And our poor LOs are not even gone yet.

I too am sorry to hear of his continuing struggles. You surely cared for him at home as long as you possibly could. Hoping they can stabilize him in hospital soon.

Denise1847

Hi Buggsroo,

I am so sorry about your DH. Please take care of yourself and get some counseling. You need to have someone to talk to. You are sooo right about others just wanting to get on with their lives. I do think they just don't have a clue, don't know how to respond to our situation and just don't want to deal with the heaviness of it all.

White Crane

Dear Buggsroo, I am so sorry that your husband is so ill and may need surgery. My heart goes out to you in your grief. Please know that I’m holding you in prayer.

Ed1937

Buggs, you have been through hell. I'm so sorry. I know dealing with the grief is on a level of it's own, but I'm glad you at least can find some kind of relaxing environment with the flowers, bees, and your cats. Thanks for the update.

toolbeltexpert

Sorry this is so late after your post. I haven't been on here as much lately but Buggsroo you have definitely been on my mind and in my prayers. I can feel the emptiness in your post and I surly get how alone this feels. I am glad you are able to do those simple things that bring some peace.

Stewart

mrahope

Good to hear from you. You are one of the most heroic caregivers I've ever heard of. I just keep hoping that the days ahead will help you find more moments of peace.

Babey49

I am so sorry for you. It is really hard to deal with Alzheimer's. It is such an awful insidious disease. I have my boyfriend in the Ely Liiy study medication. He has struggles. He has nice travel coffee mugs he keeps losing. Blames anyone for taking them. I had my son buy a new one for Father's Day and he has misplaced There is no way I can it. Blames my son. I know it is a matter of time before he needs memory care. I wish there were more care facilities. I am sending you a big hug.