Dad was diagnosed with dementia when I was 17

Janke

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Denise1847

Dear Janke,

I am so very sorry you are experiencing such pain. You are so young to have to go through this. My short answer is to seek grief counseling. The anger is very much a part of grieving. You will get through this. Please see there is a light at the end. You are a wonderful daughter for supporting your family, and it is important for you to now take care of you. It is very normal for you to feel guilt, anger, depression etc. It also sounds like you may be worried about your mom and losing her. It is important that you get the counseling and not let these feelings take over.

Other things to help you get through this:

Pray: I have grown so much through prayer and I truly feel Jesus walking with me through this, giving me strength and clarity.

Stay social

Be physically active

Get plenty of rest

Try to connect with nature

Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing. We are your new friends.

Ed1937

Janke, I'm sorry. You have seen a part of life that few people your age see. I'm sure you have been a blessing to mom and dad. Grieving is part of dementia, and I think the suggestion of a therapist is a good one.

There is nothing you can do to make dad's sickness go away, but you deserve a life of your own, and you should not feel guilt when pursuing it.

Stick with the forum. It can really be helpful for you.

????

My wife has Alzheirmer's, our daughter and son in-law have been a big help dealing with this. My wife and I helped both sets of our parents through their end of life issues, it was not easy. My father in-law had Alzheimer's. All that being said, as a father, I would not want my daughter to give up all of her life to care for me. Don't feel guilty, do what you can to help your parents and live your life.

SDianeL

So sorry you are going through this. My daughter offered to help me care for my DH. I told her no. She is married has a job & grown son. She wanted us to move in with her. He's her step-Dad. I said no. I moved us into a small apartment. I told her to live her life. Life is too short. The anger you are feeling is toward the disease for hurting your Dad and robbing you of his presence. Try to channel it somehow to help others. Raise money for ALZ.org or do a walkathon. Get grief counseling. You really have been grieving since you were 17. You lost him then to the disease. There are ways you can help your Mom without being the physical caregiver. You can make phone calls, help with handling their finances, and just be there for moral support. My daughter offered to come clean my apartment once every 2 weeks. I declined but that was a nice offer. Don't allow this horrible disease to rob you of your life too. You made the right choice in my opinion.