Dad at AL getting confused about clothing

bjohnsen3869

Hello all,

overall my dad is really doing well in the AL he has been in for almost 2 weeks. He has trouble with clothing. He gets confused in the morning and at night as to what to put on. Does anyone have any ideas about a way to help this. He can still read so I was thinking of making laminated signs and placing them on plastic bins.

calmmorn

Hi BJ,

I am so glad that your father has adjusted well to the AL facility. Based on your posts, it sounds like your father is around the same stage as my mother who is stage 5/6 Alzheimer’s. She lost the ability to use her phone about a year ago, but is still able to get herself dressed and undressed in the morning and evening. This is largely because I thinned out her closet over a period of time to just a handful of outfits that I know she likes to wear. We are now down to two pairs of pants and a few tops. Any way to reduce the number of decisions seems to be very helpful. However, I do have to prompt her to change her underwear as she would not remember to do that on her own.

My mother is also still able to read and comprehend (in the moment) but I don’t think she has the executive functioning to be able to read signs, remember instructions and then take action based on what she has read. That said, this whole journey is about trial and error, so it never hurts to just try something and see if it works.

To be honest, if I were to place my mother in a facility today, I would only consider memory care as I don’t think AL would provide enough support for her. It is wonderful that your father is in a place where he can make that transition when the time is right.

I am sending you lots of hugs.

M1

Second that BJ. Unfortunately i think you'll find that even though he may retain the ability to read words, being able to translate those words to the concept and the action is dubious. You can always try, but I wouldn't hold out a whole lot of hope. There's a sign in my partner's MC room--put there at the occupational therapist's suggestion---saying (among other things) when she can expect me to be back. She'll read it (typically it will say "M will be here tomorrow") and ask me, "who is M?"

Anonymousjpl123

My mother is in a similar situation. She can still dress herself, bathe herself, brush her teeth. But she compensates. So right now, in her very organized little apartment, she has her clothes in piles - bottoms, tops, socks. They are neatly stacked. She made up the system, but it works. It limits her choices but gives her some sense of control.

As others have said, he will likely need memory care or at least more support over time, but I understand why you put him in AL first. I did the same thing. I don’t think my mom would have accepted anything else. But I knew higher levels of care would be required.

Try the piles. Welcome to the forum.

bjohnsen3869

Thanks guys,

well. I put 3 baskets in his room. One with a sign that says “put these clothes on in the morning.” Second, says “put these clothes on for bed.” Third says “put clothes here when you take them off.”

I did this day before yesterday. Huge fail. I’ve confused him more than ever. I have a ring camera in his room and all he does now is go over to the signs and stare at them over and over again. Hasn’t followed the directions once. I’m going to go get them today.

trial and error is correct. I thought I was being so clever.

Emily 123

Hi bjohnson,

Take heart, you are by no means the first to lose in a head to head with dementia. Case in point: I bought my mom a cute new straw clothes hamper for her move to AL, and put it in a corner of the room. Clothes did not go in the hamper until I replaced that with a white plastic laundry basket tucked inside her closet. That's what my mom used at home, and by golly, that's what cued her to put the clothes in the hamper at the AL.

It's a learning curve, and your dad's juggling a lot of new information now. He's hampered by the fact that the disease will make each day feel like Groundhog's day for him, since he has no efficient way to retain new information. It's not unusual to see new behaviors that are a bit further along in the stages when there's some kind of stressor. Things will be unfamiliar to him for a while. It took my mom about 3 weeks to relax, 6 weeks to settle in, and about 2-3 months to have the AL's routine down.

What does your dad's AL care plan say? If a goal is that he's neatly and appropriately dressed you could ask them to have a bit more oversight. Could you talk to the director and see what they can offer? Is there a way to organize his clothes that's more like home so that he can reference that? Does he have too many clothing choices? (I took too many clothes for my mom, and am slowly whittling things down--less is best.)

calmmorn

I agree with Emily123. I am not sure there is such a thing as “fail” with dementia, especially when your heart was in the right place. Just lots of trying, seeing, learning and growing. Also, with trial and error, I have erred on the side of underestimating as much as overestimating. There have been several times when I assumed my mother couldn’t do something anymore. After weeks, even months, of doing something for her, I found out that she could do it by herself just fine… she just needed a little prompting. One bright side with dementia is that our LOs usually don’t remember our “experiments” and just move right on to the next thing. It sounds like you were trying to help your father be as independent as possible, which is exactly what all the wise folks say we should do. You did great.

bjohnsen3869

Thank you all. I took the signs out. The AL facility is putting his daily clothes out and his pjs out for night. However, it takes him forever to figure out which ones are the pjs. Then he takes his shorts and shirt off and puts them in the same place as his clothes for the next day. He gets up at 3 am and starts looking through those laid out clothes and does it for hours. He will put on one pair of shorts then change and continually look through them. It is driving me crazy. I just want to jump through the camera and help him.

Emily 123

Glad you were able to work it out. The disease messes with their biological sleep clock so they aren't on a regular sleep schedule per se. Once they're up, they're up doing something. My mom checks her dresser drawers over & over. Or she plays solitaire on her ipad for hours and activates the password protection, no matter how hard I try to hide the settings icon. Drives me crazy.

Sounds like he's just figuring out things on his own, and as long as he seems calm it should be ok. It may settle out once this becomes routine for him (or not, but fingers crossed).