Stages of this disease

nannyritch

Any info on how long they stay in the aggressive mean stage. Starting looking for placement and my daughter says this stage won’t last long. The verbal abuse is so bad. Just don’t know how long I can do this

Marta

No one can predict how long any stage lasts. Having said that, there are medications to help with the anger. Quite often an SSRI such as citalopram or sertraline are used for anger management. Your PCP could likely prescribe this. Just contact the office through the patient portal. If he is already on an SSRI, the dose needs to be adjusted.

Howaboutnow

I take no solace in anyone saying “this stage won’t last long” when it comes to dementia. It simply is not fact. Like Marta suggests, meds is an effective option. I would seek Dr help pronto. If he is mean and aggressive he is in distress. It is compassionate to help him settle. It is compassionate for you also to have his behavior cool down.

sandwichone123

I'm sorry to say it, but unless your daughter is the primary caregiver, she doesn't get a vote. Less involved family members very typically think Alz is milder, shorter-term, and more tolerable than it is. If you are the caregiver and POA, you are the decision maker.

I know care is expensive, and our kids don't say right out loud, "you're spending my inheritance on this," but finding additional care resources is the lifeline *for you.* He may or may not be happier surrounded by caring people that communicate on his own level, but your stress will plummet, which is important. I will say my own spouse is happier in assisted living.

harshedbuzz

@nannyritch

The answer to this is the same as it was last time you posted that your children did not support your need to place your husband. Stop discussing it with them and do it. You don't need consensus or their blessing to do what is right for you.

I don't know what motivates your children-- blissful ignorance of the realities of dementia, preservation of assets towards an inheritance, payback for a mother who made them eat vegetables-- but they don't get a vote so stop polling them for opinions.

HB