Non-stop talking

TJH0507

My dad has dementia, and we have been going through various stages with him over the past year that have been quite challenging. Recently he was having delusions that were causing him quite a lot of distress, and we were able to get him on Seroquel, which thankfully has helped with that. We have moved on to a new challenge, which is that while he is awake he is talking non-stop about things that don't make sense. He gets fixated on topics, such as "teachers vs. farmers" (he wants to know if who works harder, farmers or teachers, who makes more money, but then he'll proceed to answer his own questions and the conversation can revolve around this for hours at a time). We try to change the subject, and he may answer one question or make one remark about something different, but then goes right back to his dialogue about teachers and farmers. Yesterday my mom said he moved on to a new topic "a pound of chicken vs. a pound of venison". It's rare now to have a conversation with him that makes any sense. He won't even stop talking even when it's time to eat - he'll go to the table and sit in front of his meal but just keeps talking and doesn't eat - yesterday he sat there for two hours and my mom warmed up his food twice, but he still didn't eat it all. She has to really insist that he stop talking and take a bite - sometimes that works, sometimes not. She's worried that he is not getting enough nutrition because of this. Not to mention that it is very wearing on her emotionally. Sometimes she just has to leave the room, but he will sit there and just talk to nobody (or himself) and doesn't seem to notice that she's gone. My sister recommended she put on music with vocals or TV (with people talking) so that maybe he wouldn't feel the need to do the talking himself. She is going to try this, but I'm not sure it will work - he seems to be sort of oblivious to everything else when he gets into this mode of rambling on about these odd things. Any ideas to help him (or her) would be most appreciated!

ButterflyWings

Welcome TJH - I had forgotten the "monologue" phase that DH went through. He just dominated the discussion no matter who was in the room and just like you describe, the topic was on a loop in his brain, even when I or someone else changed the subject. Lots of repeated stories, partially accurate but lots of confabulation also.

Believe it or not, I kind of miss the nonstop chatter now that my DH is not very verbal anymore. But I can sympathize and empathize with your dear mom. It made me want to put my fingers in my ears, or just scream sometimes when we were going through that.

Your sister may be on to something. Some caregivers have used earbuds with their favorite playlist or streaming radio genre, or white noise to block out the chatter, or at least find a way to mute it some. Maybe your mom can tune out some of the discussion that way.

TJH0507

So my mom put the TV on a golf channel today during lunch (he used to love to golf). He sat quietly and watched intently while eating pretty much everything she had put on his plate! It's working for now - fingers crossed it continues!

TJH0507

And thank you, Butterflywings, for the suggestion about the headphones - my mom does like to listen to podcasts, so I recommended that to her for the next time he gets into one of his "monologues" (love that term, btw - very descriptive!).

SDianeL

My DH has just started doing that. It's usually late in the day when he gets tired or upset or when I'm driving and he's going with me. It makes me so nervous! I read that it's a way they comfort themselves. He even does it after we go to bed. They prescribed Risperidone low dose at night so when that kicks in he goes to sleep thank goodness. Found this that might help: https://www.griswoldhomecare.com/blog/2022/april/dementia-repetitive-speech-looping-and-same-stor/

pookabera

My Dad is also in a monologue type of phase (I've been calling it "chattering"). He has been hard-of-hearing for a very long time and always refused hearing aids, so I assumed part of the development of this was that he'd already reached a point where he was essentially having conversations with himself when talking to someone else.

It gets worse at night - we're hoping the physician will be able to help us possibly find a medicine for him to take at night to help him sleep. It seems like the chattering is worse when he's not well-rested.

michiganpat

This sounds so much like my husband. Talk talk talk. And about things that make no sense or is a repeat. He has conversations where he mimics the other person and continues the dialogue. If I take the recycling into the garage I hear him continuing on without me. If we are watching tv he talks thru whatever is on. I sometimes say "just a minute, I want to hear this", then he'll pause but go right back to talking once it's over. It is definitely worse in the morning and later in the day. No one can understand this unless they have lived it. I totally understand what you are saying, feeling and that is why this board is so important. We all "get it". Hugs to you.

Palmetto Peg

We are in that stage, too. He also follows me wherever I go, talking to me. It is like a continuous loop - he repeats himself over and over. His daughter (God bless her) took him to Miami this weekend to see his grandchild, and the first text I got from her asked me if he ever stops talking! I have been home for three days and haven't turned on the tv or even talked to the cats. The silence is such a relief. He will be home tonight and hopefully he will be so exhausted that he will just quietly go to bed. Tomorrow maybe the loop will be on a different subject - like how cute his grandson is! Fingers crossed! Hugs to all in this situation. It is really difficult!

somervillebear

My DH is monologuing, too. This started a long time ago because I am not very talkative. He used to ask me questions and talk with me, but now talks almost all the time. If I tell him that I need to concentrate to do something, he will go through some fits and starts, but will remind himself to not interrupt me and soon stop.

I am lucky to live in a different apartment, so I can get away from it when we are not specifically doing something together. My approach has been to just listen as he tells story after story. He repeats many of the same stories and questions each day, but is not yet totally out of it, thank goodness. Today, he confided that he talks to his cat when I am not there, which did not surprise me. I said that was a good thing and encouraged him to keep it up.

my approach has been to just listen to him, answer questions, and just appreciate that he is still interacting, since I expect that sometime soonish he won’t be making sense or even interacting.

ButterflyWings

Forum mates: I have a suggestion that may sound wacky since all the LOs mentioned are talking your ears off right now...But with disease progression, the day may come sooner or later, when you will be where I am. With a mostly non-verbal LO wishing he'd chatter away sometimes. I said earlier in this thread that I kind of miss the monologue days now that he speaks fewer than 10 words all day, many days, and then only if prompted. Repeatedly That's right. Can you imagine? After those days of run on sentences and long, repetitive stories, barely even taking a breath. As frustrating as that constant talking phase was, right now the silence is peaceful, but sometimes deafening. And I really miss his voice and those stories, even when they were a little off.

I wish I had recorded him some then, just to have for these aphasia (communication loss) times when it is clear the end is more near every day, and I miss my DH. Even though he is sitting right beside me. There are a couple of recordings here and there, from before we knew he was ill and I watch them sometimes for my own healing from this anticipatory grief. Watching one of them with us made his PT get teary-eyed when I shared it on her last visit, she was touched by seeing and hearing who he was before so much loss. But he enjoys watching the short clips and recognizes himself. And it doesn't make me any sadder than I already am about his decline.

So my suggestion is, to consider preserving some of these conversations that are currently so irritating to you. Even just a few clips every so often. Use the audio or video record on your phone or computer if you can. I do not feel it is an invasion of his privacy to do this without asking DH when I sometimes record, or photograph him now. The recordings are just for me; not to share with his Dr. or to post publicly, or forward to others. I recently tried to capture a short video recording when he's having an especially good moment, but end up with lots of silence as he can't really finish a sentence, so that window has closed.

TJH0507

I did record my dad the other day (he's into a new phase - PBA, which is uncontrollable crying/laughing - good thing for us is he's laughing, not crying). We were sitting out on their patio and he was chuckling every few minutes about something or other - most of our conversations now are nonsensical, but at least he's still verbal and trying to communicate with us. Anyway, I got some cute/funny video of him talking and laughing, which I'm sure I will treasure some day! Wish I would have recorded him more earlier on when things he said still made sense, but I'll take what I can get right now. Don't wait to do this, you never know when it will be too late!

M1

TJH, there is a medication called Nudexta that is specfically approved for PBA--it's actually old drugs but combined and newly patented so expensive, of course. You might ask his docs about it....

Fate

It is nice to know I'm not alone in this. DH doesn't stop talking and he expects a response. It seems to come in spurts. It is like he is having a manic episode that is just constant talking about what is going on at that moment, whether it is on TV or live, it doesn't matter. He doesn't stop until I finally get frustrated enough to tell him to stop. If I pop in the earbuds he gets mad because i am not listening to him. Today I think I just nodded and said a million variations of "yeah". Very draining for a person that requires alone time and quiet.

michiganpat

To Fate, "manic episode", I think you are right. I have wondered about that. My husband does the same thing. It's like his talking is in spurts and he can't help it. He wants me to engage and sometimes I can but other times his remarks are so outlandish I just can't. I have music in the background and I try to concentrate on that.