HELP

Zax

My mum has Dementia, officially diagnosis three months ago.
Although there’s been issues for a while.
Talking to her now: she is not my mum, it’s repetitive and circular but only sometimes does she say something ‘of clarity’ they say she’s going to just get worse.
I’m trying so hard to help her but it’s heartbreaking and I really don’t know what more I can do any more.
🏬

SDianeL

We understand your heartbreak. The best thing you can do is to learn all you can about the disease. You can learn a lot on this forum. It has helped me so much. Also get the book "The 36 Hour Day" it will help you understand the disease and understand the behaviors like language, depression, anger. It will give you tips on how to be her caregiver. This disease is terrifying and heartbreaking for her and for you. There are tips in the book about communicating like: " Body language and physical contact become significant when speech is difficult for a person with dementia. When someone has difficulty speaking or understanding, try to: be patient and remain calm, which can help the person communicate more easily. keep your tone of voice positive and friendly, where possible." There are many tips on this website. You can search for things like communication. Here's a link to get you started: https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/communications

pookabera

Hi Zax, I agree with SDianeL on "The 36-Hour Day", it's been really helpful for me with my Dad.

This disease truly takes a toll on caregivers. My mom's mom had ALZ and passed when I was 18 -- even though it was awful for us to watch her progress through the disease because she was no longer the person we knew, it was at least reassuring to know that she was comfortable, content, taken care of, and had progressed to a point where she no longer knew she had ALZ or was bothered by her cognitive decline.

I immediately felt helpless when they diagnosed my Dad with dementia - I know the disease is unrelenting and that our lives were going to be changing very rapidly as we prepared to adapt.

All this being said - I've been trying to make myself feel more empowered to withstand this experience (and feel better about the situation in general) by learning about different perspectives and approaches to the disease and caring for loved ones with dementia.

I would also recommend looking into Naomi Feil's Validation Technique: https://best-alzheimers-products.com/validation-therapy-and-alzheimers.html

I'm about to start reading "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey as well, hoping it will add to my toolbox.

Sending you all the best.