Transition from one MC to another - Guilty and Venting
My DH and I moved from California to Arizona. After we were settled, at about 6 weeks, I went back to CA to fly my Mom to AZ. I am the now the only child and the POA for Mom. The trip through the airport, the security, the airplane ride, arriving at the new MC facility all went smoothly. Mom lived in the moment and enjoyed each leg of the journey. But now I feel both relieved that she is near me and guilty because her dementia is getting worse and that I caused it to worsen.
On the second morning after arrival, my Mom fell in her room, and possibly hit her face on her nightstand. She was bleeding from her lip and her eyes were badly bruised and EMS took her to the ER. No bones were broken, but she has a concussion. She was released after 2 days to go back to MC, and has become increasingly agitated and unable to sleep. Now she is on a trazadone for sleep and hydroxyzine for agitation. I am please with the staff, who all appear well trained in handling dementia, and are very kind. For the past 5 years since her diagnosis, she has been kind and gentle. But lately, she has been angry at the staff when she is redirected (tried to hit a caregiver) and wants to sleep much of the day. Yesterday she stood in front of her bed and asked me how to get into it.
As I write this, I know that I should not feel guilty, and realize that that this is a brain diseases, and this brain disease progresses through multiple stages. It is still just shocking that my Mom has this disease and I hate it!
Comments
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Welcome to the forum. You are entirely correct that you should not feel guilty, and you did not make this happen, the move did not make it happen, it may have happened in the previous environment also. Hopefully over the long run, the advantages of being close to you will outweigh the difficulties encountered with the move.
Does she have a physician in the new facility? If the trazodone and hydoxyzine are not doing the trick, I would push hard for a medication change sooner rather than later. Hydroxyzine particularly may need to be rethought--antihistamines of that class (the older H1 variety) are NOT recommended in the elderly because of the number of side effects, and the agitation may be a paradoxical reaction in part. There are probably better choices.
Keep us posted how she does.
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In particular, the use of H1 drugs like hydroxyzine in the elderly is associated with falls and are on the BEER’s list of drugs that are contraindicated in the elderly.
Does she have a PCP yet in the new locale? It’s critical to get established. If she already has a PCP, ask for a referral to a geriatric physician or psychiatrist to prescribe appropriate meds.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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