Good , Bad ,and Ugly of Stage 7 - now Stage 8

Battlebuddy

Well my husband passed away on Aug 5, after not eating or drinking for 10 days. It was time to let that happen , and Hospice agreed. The funeral was Thursday and it was beautiful. Just exactly what I and the kids wanted. We opened it up for anyone who wanted to speak and many did ( we let them speak from their seats which was key)

My husband was a lovely man, and many spoke about how he just loved everyone. Told funny stories about him. He could be so funny.

Now I am here with a bunch of flowers which smell so good. I’ve already started repainting his room where he was bed bound for two years. I’m getting rid of any odors with fresh paint smell. I need to walk by that room and need it to be looking different so as not to trigger bad memories.

I have a lot of feelings, and it’s only been a couple days since the funeral, but I feel very proud of my care giving. He was home the whole time. He never got a single bed sore. ( thank you Domus 3 mattress) It was me and Hospice caring for him, and he got the best care I could give.

It is possible to keep a loved one home . Alzheimers is possible to survive ( some days I wasn’t sure) I’ve made it through. Let’s see how it goes. Maybe I’ll crash later, but I’ve basically been living alone for two years . Watching TV at night alone, shopping alone etc. So maybe Stage 8 is survivable too.

Going to check in and out, but not daily. I learned so much from this site. I was called Battlebuddy . I was my husbands battle buddy, but all of you were my battle buddies too. Some days you were the only thing keeping me going- you all and Jesus. God bless you all for your compassion and support

harshedbuzz

I am so sorry for your loss and all that led up to it. Wishing you peace and strength as you move forward into this next phase.

HB

Jeanne C.

Peace to you and your family. You were a warrior for your husband and you will be in my thoughts.

Howaboutnow

Surely you will survive Stage 8 beautifully, as you have every stage so far. I say “beautifully” knowing full well the years, months, days, hours, minutes leading up to now weren’t always so….but the act of love was. Take Care.

A. Marie

Blessings and peace, from one Stage 8 battle buddy to another.

Joe C.

My sincere condolences oh the loss of your husband. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

Ed1937

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you strength in the coming times. It will not be easy, but handle it in your own way. I forced myself to go to a major league baseball game with 2 sons and a daughter a short while after my wife's passing. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done without her there. But I was glad I did it, even though I'm not sure it helped.

You've been part of the forums for some time, and you can still help others with your experience. So I hope you'll continue with the forums.

gampiano

Wishing you the respite that you so deserve, you have been an inspiration to all.

Maureen

mrahope

What an amazing testimony to love and life you've given by your caregiving. So sorry for your loss, but hoping the end of caregiving brings some more peace to you and your family. Condolences to you all.

Jgirl57

Sorry for your loss and prayers for stage 8. I think repainting the room was a great action step.

jfkoc

Stage 8 is not easy.

My share would be to understand that grief has a life of its' own. You have no control over it. The initial feelings will die down and you will be able to walk with grief by your side but the loss and all that predeeded it leave us forever channged.

Along with my condolences I send a heartfelt hug.

Judith...also stage 8

Vitruvius

I greatly admire you for the care and effort you gave to your DH. May you find new meaning in life going forward.

Rocky2

I'm sorry for your loss. You have fought the good fight and finished this race. I pray that, with the help of Jesus, you find peace and joy in the days to come.

Tom

M1

Peace to you and your children. I feel sure you will come through, though I am also sure there will be new challenges.

SDianeL

So sorry for your loss. I know you have strength based on the wonderful care you gave your DH. Your strength is an inspiration for those of us starting this terrible journey. Cherish the good memories. Praying for God to comfort you and your family.

Caro_Lynne

I pray you find peace in knowing you did everything you could for your DH ❤️ May he RIP.

ButterflyWings

Battlebuddy, I was thinking about you and your DH since your last post. What a special person, caregiver, and forum mate you have been. I wish you all the best, and as much time as you need to grieve, heal, and remember the good times with your dear husband. Peace and light to you. Bless you for all that you have done for so long, and for providing him safe passage.

Lgb35

Prayers for you and your family🙏🏼.

my DH and I are in the early stages currently diagnosed with MCI. He is following an atypical path for early onset Alzheimer’s or FTD. They are confident he has one or the other. I am 53 and DH just turned 60. Today is our 35th wedding anniversary.

I am relieved to hear you were successful keeping your DH at home the whole time. I want to do the same for mine❤️

you DH was blessed to have you as his battle buddy. Well Done!

Quilting brings calm

BB I am sorry for your loss.

Please remember that everyone grieves at their own pace and those who started grieving before the actual death grieve in their own unique way. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t dissolve into a mess of tears and don’t feel weak if you do. Don’t feel guilty if you stay busy and do enjoyable things and don’t feel bad if you choose to spend all day watching tv three days in a row

Joydean

Peace and strength to you and your family. You have been an inspiration for me as I followed your post during the years. . I thank you for all the help you have provided to so many of us. I think the painting is a fantastic idea! Take care of yourself now.

Beachfan

Battlebuddy,

I knew your post was imminent, but it’s still sad and a great loss. I so admire your strength and the love it took to keep your DH at home with you until the end. I am confident that you will navigate stage eight with the same fortitude you have shown all along. Painting that room is a great first step toward healing and finding peace. Embrace only the happy memories to sustain you. There will be moments of profound sadness, but knowing you did everything and more for your DH will provide the comfort you need going forward. I have returned to the beach; may you find a peaceful and satisfying outlet with each passing day.

Jeff86

Battlebuddy, I am glad your DH’s suffering is over even as I offer my heartfelt condolences to you on his passing. You have been an inspirational caregiver and have shared your journey so generously. I hope you manage through grief as well as you have through caregiving, and that memories of happier pre-caregiving days come flooding back.

toolbeltexpert

BattleBuddy I am so sorry to hear about your loss, I followed your journey and even the trials with this site. Keep coming back please. My prayers are with you.

Stewart

Davegrant

Sorry for your loss. I hope for the best for you in the coming days and years.

White Crane

Dear Battle Buddy, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. He was blessed to have you for his wife and caregiver. It took a lot of love and courage to keep him at home and I applaud you for that. God bless you with His comfort and peace as you move forward into this new stage. Hugs.

Brenda

FAHNJL

My best thoughts to you and your family. The dying is done, it's time to live again. Peace.