Raining on My Parade

upstateAnn

After weeks of planning, I am leaving for a family wedding tomorrow for three days. I cannot wait. I have not seen my family in months. My very kind and reliable stepdaughter is here to stay with her dad. Because of Afib and general exhaustion, there is no way DH could make a 700 mile round trip drive and function through two days of festivities. Tonight the sulking began. I am ignoring his protests. I know it is the ALZ talking, but I still resent his anger and pouting. Of course he is cross. I am leaving him and this is hard. My stepdaughter is super reliable, and I know he will be fine. I know I will come back recharged. No need to martyr myself. Still, the guilt creeps in. I remind myself that I am this for the long haul. That means breaks.

SusanB-dil

You are so correct! You are getting a break, and know he is in good hands. I'm glad you are able to go. That is some good news. (Which is always welcome!!) He may say he does not like it, but he will have time with his daughter, and there is just a phone call away not to worry. It also sounds like if not for 'this' alz, that he would even be happy for you. Have a safe trip and a wonderful time.

harshedbuzz

Good on you.

Kudos for putting on your own oxygen mask before assisting Senor Grumpy-pants with his. A refreshed caregiver gives better care. He's going to benefit from your break, too.

Maybe next time, don't signal your intentions. Knowing ahead of time that his preferred caregiver is heading off to have fun without him only gives him time to have anxiety and ugly emotions he no longer has the cognition to process appropriately. It's best, IME, to make plans discretely-- no preparatory discussions with him or within earshot with others, pack while he naps or before he gets up. Share you plans 24 hours before.

Enjoy the get together with your family.

HB