dealing with delusions

BPS

I am 67 and my wife is 70 and is in early stage 6. Our 18-year-old granddaughter comes over once a week to help out. My wife has started having delusions of me having an affair with our granddaughter. The first time I argued with her but since then I have said that it's not true and walked away or was able to change the subject. That stopped the comments, but I could tell it didn't stop her belief. I don't know what to do. My wife has not said anything to my granddaughter, but I am afraid she will. Should I stop having my granddaughter come over? I hate to do that because I want to maintain my relationships with all my kids and grandkids, but I don't want to cause extra stress for my wife.

​NorthWoods

I can only speak from my experience, which isn’t really the same but maybe will help. It, especially initially, was extremely difficult emotionally and logistically with delusional behavior. My daughter had returned home to help out. Then my husband started vacillating between knowing who she was, not knowing who she was, thinking she was his sister, and thinking she was his first wife. It was frustrating for him but really difficult and uncomfortable for her - especially when he thought she was his ex. There was no rationalizing or explaining because it was what he really believed. My daughter moved out so she could leave when she needed to. She spent time with him when he was in a good state of mind. As for my relationship with her, it made us closer in many ways. We had to become a team and had a shared reality. My suggestion is that you talk to the family about what is happening. It will help them be prepared for unexpected interactions and to not be quite so affronted by them. They should also know it’s ok to leave the situations. They can be extremely painful. We all need to know it’s ok to walk away, even if it’s just for a few deep breaths.