Nowhere is moving

Nowhere

Update: I sold my home in May and bought a new home 2500 miles away in June with my belongings in storage that home is empty and waiting. While my husband has been on memory care waiting lists, I’ve been preparing to move. Two weeks ago the call came that he was accepted into a memory care nursing home just ten minutes from my new home! We (with daughter accompanying us) will be flying there in a few days!

Our daughter and family will practically live across the street from his facility. He will be discontinued from Medicaid and we’ll reapply in our new state. He’s now sixteen years on the Alzheimer path and still walking, talking, toileting, and dressing, albeit with increasing difficulties. Considered now as being in advanced dementia, he’s much easier to redirect. He recognizes I’m familiar and it’s going to be wonderful to be able to see him multiple times a day without a three hour turn around driving time.

Some here might recall that I was a trigger for about two years after placing him as he was such a free spirit who didn’t know he had Alzheimer’s and was so fearful of being abandoned that he’d break windows to leave, and soon after he and another resident thought each other was their spouse. I discovered I could visit in disguise as their aide to assist with his care. My disguise is going with me in case he regresses with the change of place and routine. I can visit as wife, and when I leave if he’s having exit seeking behaviors, I can return as an aide to reassure him his wife will be back soon until he hopefully adjusts.

This has been a long road and I’m relieved to be moving closer to family, and within half a day’s driving distance of where i was born, worked, and where we raised our children.

May you all experience some peace and joy as deep as deep and wide as this disease’s worst days delivers. Ying and Yang. The experience softens us (pummeling?) and I have witnessed beauty within this beast. I see it in the nature of residents watching out for one another even though they have so little to give. I see it in the brave way my husband faces each day even though he has no idea what’s just transpired, where he is, or is even sure he has a wife, parents still alive? (they’re not), or has children or grandchildren who love him dearly. I’m very proud of him and I think he’s handling it much better than I would in his shoes.

Take good care of you and yours!

Joe C.

Shelly, I hope all goes smoothly with the move and placement in the new facility. It will be great to have family & friends close by and not having a long drive to visit will make things easier for sure. All the best.

GG06

Wonderful post, Shelly! I can feel your happiness and excitement. Wish you, your husband and family all the best in the next leg of your journey.

Ed1937

Hi Shelly. Welcome to the Hoosier state! Glad things are headed in the right direction for you. A short drive to see him is great, and to have family around is great as well. I hope your trip goes well.

If you need a CELA while you're there, I highly recommend Bill Green, who has a law office in Indy.

M1

Shelly, this is great news and I am so happy for you. I have followed your story with interest and sympathy because as you know, I was a trigger too. Safe travels, and do keep us posted on how things go as you get settled.

Beachfan

Finally, and hopefully, some relief! Wishing you , DH, and family well in your new home. Your journey has been long and arduous. Wishing you a gentler second half, and well deserved peace.

toolbeltexpert

Shelly congratulations on your heroic move. Your closer to heaven, Tennessee is just a skip away :) I didn't move to another state but selling and moving is such a challenge on so many levels. It's sounds like you hit the jackpot, familiar surroundings, family and a close facility.

I also remember that we would all prefer to not have to go this road and we do the best we can.

I'll be praying for what is left to do.

Stewart

SDianeL

so glad you will be closer to family for support. Take care and keep us posted.

Nowhere

Thanks for sharing my excitement with this big move. Fingers, toes, and eyes crossed that he tolerates the move and changes without too much angst and/or set back. We leave by noon Tuesday, will have a three hour layover providing time for dinner (there are no direct flights), and arrive in Indy at his regular bedtime, so will check into a hotel and hopefully go straight to sleep in an attempt to keep him on his usual schedule. Then the next morning he’ll move in following breakfast. Caveat - he’ll have a male roommate for the first time, since losing his female partner who he thought was me. His PA has prescribed an anti anxiety med in the case it’s needed.

I’ll update when we’re settled, ‘now here’, and no longer ‘nowhere’ near family.😍

mommafour

Welcome to Indy! Hope all goes smoothly for you and your DH in your transition.

Nowhere

Done✅

The day of flying across country was easier than anticipated thanks to his adventuresome spirit. His transition into a new care facility went as expected. His anxiety level is high, but other than stating he wants “to go home”, he is not exhibiting exit seeking behaviors. Whew!!

Our daughter spent a couple hours with him this morning while I went home for a much needed rest! So happy for her support!!!

SDianeL

thanks for the wonderful update.

M1

Yay! So glad....

toolbeltexpert

Praise the Lord. The hard part is over. So glad to hear your update

Ed1937

Shelly, I'm glad you had a successful move. Maybe you will be able to rest a little now. I'm sure it is much needed.