Caregivers and doctors' appointments

LaurieSM

My 88-year-old mom has mid-stage Alzheimer's. She lives in an independent living apartment in a continuing care facility. She can physically do everything to care for herself but can't always remember to do them. Sometimes she can't remember what I've said a few minutes after I've said them. I live 20 minutes away from her, and we have lunch and spend time together on the weekends. She's somewhat capable of carrying on a normal conversation. However, she can't go to a doctor's visit without me present because she wouldn't know what to say and she wouldn't recall what the doctor said. But she has so many doctor's appointments it's hard for me to keep up with them. She has a caregiver, but I don't know if she would be any help. She could take her to the appointment, but I don't know if she would know what to say. For those whose parents need help like this, what do you do? Do you have caregivers take your parents to doctor's visits? I have no other local family and my husband is even less available than I am. I realize I'm extremely fortunate that she lives in her own place. She chose this while her cognitive decline was mild. She still has meals with friends so I don't what to move her to assisted living.

Emily 123

Hello,

Does the CCRC have a physician or clinic? If they do, it might help to transfer your mother's care over to them.

towhee

Many doctors have gotten used to "distance visits" by patients' children. Talk with the doctors and see if they will accept a speaker phone call with you while your mom is being seen. The caregiver could take her and call you and put the phone on speaker when the doctor comes in. That way, you are only taking about 15 minutes out of your day. You could send or e-mail a list of your concerns to the doctor before the visit. Yes, I did use a caregiver one time to take my LO to the doctor, This particular caregiver was completely trustworthy as to time.

M1

Hi Laurie. I can understand not wanting to rock the boat, but: to be honest, it sounds like she needs the additional support of AL. The very fact that you're thinking about it probably means it's time. And probably better to be proactive than to wait for a crisis.

Is there a way to cut back on the number of doctors that she sees? Might be time to rethink that as well. My partner used to see an internist, rheumatologist, oncologist, dermatologist, ophthalmologist, gastroenterologist, and pain management, as well as multiple spine and orthopedic surgeons. We gradually dropped all but the Internist and the rheumatologist, who was kind enough to take over the pain management prescriptions until she went to memory care. The more advanced the dementia gets, the narrower the need became-it is all palliative now, and hospice will be our next step. I don't know if that kind of simplification would work for your mom, but worth considering. The suggestion about the in-house practice or a house call practice is also a good one.

LaurieSM

Thanks for the input! She has an in-house doctor. The caregivers can't take her off-site. I will see about whittling down the doctor list.