How a good visit feels/goes

M1

We still have our ups and downs, but it will be four months next week since my partner moved to a new memory care facility after a year in the other place. Life has improved so dramatically, it's hard to express. Whereas she was so unhappy and claustrophobic at the other facility I could not visit without enraging her because she wanted to leave, now she is happy to see me and glad to spend time with me, tells me every day how much she loves me. She doesn't know my name, and doesn't remember any details of our past, but she knows she loves me, and we can still laugh and joke together. It feels like heaven, and I'll take it for now.

Today I got there about an hour before lunch. She was up and dressed--not a given--and had actually gotten up and eaten breakfast (also not a given). We went and sat outside in the courtyard, and then the servers actually were kind enough to bring lunch to us out there (it's right off the kitchen/dining area). So we ate while watching the birds, talked about my old stomping grounds in Boston, called her great nephew for his 30th birthday, and her sister, and she was fairly coherent on the phone. We went back to her room to draw and paint for a while, walked down to the sunroom where we fixed a floorboard we had noticed was loose yesterday (this was right up her alley of course; I had brought glue, tacks, and a hammer, and she was thrilled to do it without anyone noticing. Our little secret. It was a trip hazard.). We took some catnip to the cat, who likes to hang out in the sunny spots. Then because her back was hurting she let me get her in the shower to run really hot water over it, changed her sheets, got her in clean clothes, into the bed to rest that back, then went and got her a snack from the AL side (these are available 24/7, free, which is delightful).

I had gotten there about 11 and stayed til shortly after 4. She did not protest when I left; she sometimes remembers that I have to feed the dog, and she doesn't begrudge him that (not sure she remembers the dog, but anything to not have an argument). She was happy that I would be back tomorrow, with a picnic lunch tomorrow. She asked for fried chicken, and watermelon, "but mostly just you."

Overall a really happy day. Of course, this is overlooking the fifty times she asked me how old I was, how old she was, whether I had ever been married, did I have children, did I know her mother, was her mother still alive, would I go with her to Texas to see her mother, where did I live, could she come live with me, etc. etc. etc. The conversation makes no sense, and less and less sense; we may be in an easier lull because of the disease progression itself. But we were both happy today. I am so, so grateful. This was a good MC day.

Ed1937

M1, I can't tell you how thrilled I am for you. I remember when she went into the first MC, and what a time you had trying to make up your mind how to make things better. Well sir, I think you nailed it! Good for both of you.

Jo C.

What a delightful day! I am touched by the news of the beautiful time that you both had together. Smiled at her fixing the floor board; I can imagine how good that made her feel.

The picnic sounds wonderful and the best part of it: "but mostly just you." Greatest compliment ever.

May tomorrow be as sweet as today. And . . . you are awesome, M1.

J.

Jgirl57

👏👏👏👏

jfkoc

What a wonderful update....thanks for the share

Caro_Lynne

So nice to hear you had a great visit! "But mostly you" brought tears to my eyes ❣️

White Crane

Wonderful!!! I’m so happy for you.

toolbeltexpert

M1 so glad you've gotten these well deserved precious moments. You're a great caregiver and we know that doesn't ever end, but it's great you can focus on your dw now.

FYI I lived in Hyde Park for a year and went to Logan every day.

Stewart

ImMaggieMae

What a difference a year makes! The disease may still be progressing, but it sounds like she is much more content and life is better for both of you. I’m so glad you’re able to enjoy s these good days.

Rocky2

M1, I'm delighted for the really positive change. What a wonderful gift for the both of you. Put a pin in moments like this and hold on to the precious memories.

Tom

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Jeff86

M1, your post brought tears to my eyes. I am so delighted for you that you had such a good day with your partner. You have been through so much heartache that such a day is that much more precious.

Dio

So happy for you! And thanks for sharing. Brought a smile to my face, for sure. So precious. I look forward to the day when I can have a good visit, too.

ButterflyWings

Win! Win! Win! What a beautiful day! I pray you and your beloved partner will have many more moments like the ones you just experienced. M1, thank you for the update. Precious indeed.

M1

Hand in there Dio, you never know when something might shift. I wish it for you, too.

Joe C.

M1, That is a fantastic update on how your partner is doing. Given all the challenges you had in the previous facility you must be overjoyed with how things have improved. I’m happy for both of you.