He wouldn't or couldn't get in the car, laid down on pavement. 911 called.

Sometimes overwhelmed

I'm facing another new hurdle and need some support and advice. DH and I went to the store yesterday. On returning to the car, he had trouble getting into the vehicle. He got partially in, but, started sliding down. I couldn't manage to push him back in, but helped him ease down to pavement. I couldn't get him up. Then he became combative, laid down on pavement. Finally, I called 911, told them it wasn't an emergency, but that I needed help to get him up.

Police arrived and attempted to help him up, but he remained combative and cursed them--and me--at each attempt. They called an ambulance to take him to hospital. After their arriving and assessing, they decided to call an ambulance that had medication aboard. While waiting, DH reached up to car, grabbed door handle and sat up. I asked him if it would be okay for me to help him up. He let me. I told police, ambulance crew that, as it was late, and since our hospital system, doctors are in another county, where ambulance won't go--if I could get him in the car, I'd prefer that, and I will take him to his doctor on Monday.

I have been caring for him at home for four, almost five, years. He's in stage 6, but still physically quite strong. I have a part-time caregiver who comes in two days a week for about 6 hours.

I've been hoping to care for him at home, and possibly consider hospice when he needs more physical help than I can provide alone. I've also been researching nearby SNF's and Memory Care ratings on Medicare.gov. I visited a couple facilities, and have plans to visit more. I have a (first) appointment scheduled with a therapist familiar with counseling dementia caregivers. He's also familiar with local care facilities.

I'm totally drained this am. I'm confused and bouncing back and forth between my options at this time. About 95% of the time DH is compliant and kind. But when he's not, I walk away, and he's back to himself within about ten minutes.

ghphotog

Sounds like an ordeal!! I hope everything works out and please hang in there! I know others can offer more wisdom and advice here but I just wanted to say I understand how hard that would be for you.

Sometimes overwhelmed

Thank you!

Battlebuddy

The ability to get in and out of a car is a complex maneuver that we all take for granted. I remember when my husband couldn’t figure it out. It’s the part where you have to pivot and pull you legs in that’s tricky. It was very scary. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

You don’t really know if this was an isolated incident , or the beginning of the loss of that ability. Abilities move back and forth before they leave for good.only time will tell. I would put the number for the fire department Lift Assist in your phone. They are more than willing to come out and get people up.I would enjoy what you can involving the car , while you can.

M1

Must have been very difficult. Maybe time to leave him home? But then, who stays with him when you need to run errands? It does sound like change of some sort is at hand.

gampiano

Hello,

This must have been overwhelming for you. It takes days to recover from an episode like this, and your system needs a rest. I hope that this week brings a return to a more tranquil atmosphere for you.

Sending you peaceful waves,

Maureen

SDianeL

oh my. I can't imagine how stressful that was. I read somewhere a car seat that swivels for elderly & dementia patients and a handle assist. Here's a link to some similar things: https://www.techenhancedlife.com/explorers/swivel-car-seat-car-handle-critique

SDianeL

this might also help if he will let you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=te4SW_0Af8k

SDianeL

and this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM3eNakvWzE

Ed1937

It sounds like you really had your hands full. I'm sorry.

Rather than count on a government website for MC information, I would try to get input from local people. The information on the website has a lot of it written by the facilities, so questionable. If you could join a local caregiver group, you should be able to get more reliable information.