Time for Facility?

Malka

Hi,

My dad's aide is great, but she is about my age (69). She told me this morning that she has to go for cataract surgery. She will have a sub come for the weekend. I am worried that is not enough time for her to recuperate. Then she told me that she is going to go on vacation to Georgia (country) sometime later this year. Last year she went for a month. It wasn't a problem last year.

This year, I think it might be a problem. My dad's dementia has progressed. Some days he doesn't know where he is. He has trouble on the telephone because he doesn't realize the speaker needs to be on his ear. I think that if she goes for a month or even a few weeks, he will not know her when she comes back.

Maybe now is the time to look for a facility for him? This is too hard and honestly I would prefer that he pass away. He is 95. I am old also. I feel as if every day another problem raises it's head. Even his apartment is starting to fall apart.

I don't expect any answers because I know that there aren't any. It's just like wandering in the dark.

M

SusanB-dil

Hi Malka - It probably wouldn't hurt to start looking at facilities, especially if his apartment isn't being maintained.

There may not be answers for 'this', but there are answers to what to do.

Malka

Thanks. I have looked at all the facilities around me numerous times over the past 7 years. I thought he should have gone to an assisted living place so there would be people around him. Now he is alone in his apartment with his aide and no one else. I visit him numerous times a week and speak with him a minimum of 3 times a day. But this just isn't enough anymore. I just don't know what to do. He doesn't want to move. But then again, do any of them?

M

SusanB-dil

It sounds like you already know it is time. Agree - most do not want to leave 'their place', whether it be home or apartment. However, it appears he would be less lonely, the place would be maintained, and he would be getting the care. You would have better peace-of mind, and still visit him 'numerous times' and speak with him. You would still be his advocate, but I think at least some of the weight would be lifted from you.

You could use the excuse of the apartment maintenance to move him.