I need help figuring out how often to visit

TLC999

After a 20 day stay in the hospital I moved my DH to the Memory Care Unit in an Assisted Living facility. His cognition has been declining for years, confusion increased in past two years resulting in hallucinations and delusions. Medication has helped the situation. The facility is an hour and a half from our home and isn't an easy drive. I'm trying to figure out how to navigate how often to visit. Though he remembers me at this time, he doesn't recall if or when I've been there visiting. Any advice? Thank you in advance

frankay

I totally understand. Just moved my DH to memory care recently. I am much closer and have been going almost every day mainly to see that he is getting settled, has what he needs, and getting to know the staff and their routine. I also am helping the staff get to know him and his needs, Some days I go and only stay a short time because he might be doing some activity . This schedule is wearing me out so I can't imagine adding a 3 hour difficult drive. I am developing trust in the staff and the facility so I plan to back off and visit less often. If you trust that he is being cared for properly and he is settled and has what he needs, I truly don't think it matters to him how often you visit. Your visits are not going to make him better. It's this darn guilt and loneliness and trying to figure out what we should do with ourselves that's the problem. Take care of yourself . You are the one who should decide how often to visit.