Thanks for your experience

patiron

Hi, I'm new to our group. I have lived with my parents for 11 years. Dad and I care for my Mom who's 76 in stage 6. She has had early onset for 15 years. I'm no expert, just read about stages. Occasionally I work a month at a time 7 days a week 12 hours a day and this is my "break time" to get away from home. My Dad is a saint, we are both doing our best. We have an awesome angel of a caregiver friend who comes four days a week and gives Mom a shower 3 days a week then takes her out to a movie or thrift store shopping. This is not enough support for my Dad as I'm not always at home. Mom is physically well and looks more like my sister 😊 she has become incontinent, sundowners, we seem to have solved the wandering with confounding locks on the doors and back gate. Dad and I keep saying how hard this must be on Mom. She definitely gets agitated at sundown time and is super anxious, most times fidgety, and sometimes angry. Her neurologist is super reluctant to prescribe anything for mood calming. We use Melatonin and CBD sometimes. We want to keep her home as long as possible and are in desperate need of more home services from a professional whether home health, palliative or even hospice. I'm super courageous but scared to call the ALZ hotline to get started seeking more resources, recommendations, and advice. Dad is Financially POA for Mom and we recently did a trust. Mom has no medical POA and I know I need to make an appointment with an elder care lawyer too.

Q: has anyone had success stories with any medications or whatever else during those times of severe agitation when the recommended music, quiet, go outside type of methods aren't working?

One day at a time one step at a time. Thanks for making a space where I can share

SusanB-dil

Hi patiron - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

All of what you've described is rather normal. I'm not sure why the neurologist is reluctant to prescribe something to calm the moods, though. With MIL, just a low-dose at first and see how it goes. Some meds have had to be increased with time, but she is relatively stable, and is often even in a decent mood. I'm glad you do have some help come in.

It may seem hard on your mom at times if she gets frustrated. Is she able to articulate at all what may be upsetting her? Sometimes MIL can, sometimes she cannot. We often use distractions to get her mind on something else, but the meds have helped a lot.

Do call the alz line - they are helfpful. and Yes! definitely DPOA and HIPPA accesses. Not sure, but do check with the lawyer about the DPOA about if she needs to be capable to sign anything. If not, dad or you may have to go to 'guardianship'. Since she is incontinent, making it stage 6, you could also consult with a hospice team for some extra assistance.

patiron

Awesome (deep breath) thank YOU

MP8

Hi, patiron. My mother was dealing with a lot of anxiety and anger; her PCP prescribed Zoloft and it made a huge difference. Everyone is different, though, but if you don't get an answer from the neurologist on their reluctance to prescribe something, you might try a different doctor, and not necessarily a neurologist. As I said, my mother's got her prescription from her primary care doctor.

Also, I second SusanB-Dil on the hotline. They have been incredibly helpful in thinking through situations and providing resources. Plus, hearing a calm voice who knows the system and the disease can really ease the stress of caregiving.

patiron

Yay that's such great info thanks. I'm gonna dial it right now