A naive question...

M5M

So as I think ahead to caring for DH, and having unknown caregivers come to the house.....I read about theft issues and wonder what do you do? Do you put "everything" in a safe deposit box and never wear your wedding rings again? How do your "theft proof" the interior of your home, especially while dealing with the obvious issues at hand? Is it just jewelry to be concerned about, or other items? I don't have much, but would like to keep what I do have!

GG06

Not a naive question at all! I’m not at that point yet either, but it’s one I wonder about too. Thanks for posting it.

Jo C.

Many care aides are honest; but it would be foolish not to take precautions as we would do with any workers in one's home.

Not having jewelry readily accessible is certainly something to be cautious of. Some people have safes; others have a locking closet door; others have locking file cabinets with multiple drawers.

Personally, I preferred to lock away all financial papers including bank/credit union statements as well as our healthcare documents - a locking file cabinet was easiest to manage that. Ours was an upright file cabinet with four drawers and kept in our office. One can put jewelry and financial documents and special documents such as passports, birth certificates, military documents, etc. in such a cabinet. I have to smile; one of our Members also put her bottles of liquor in a file cabinet drawer. She felt better doing that.

A source of danger came unexpected to us. My LO with dementia got into the small portable unlocked file and destroyed some of the important documents. Sadly; my LO also got into the photo books and destroyed many old photos. It happened so quickly; I wish I had thought of protecting the photos, but it never came to mind.

J.

ImMaggieMae

We had keyed locks put on the doors of a couple rooms in our home and keep financial documents and such in those rooms because we’ve occasionally have workers in the house repairing or replacing things over the years. Our caregiver works through an agency and is bonded and insured, for what that’s worth. She’s worked for us for a long time and we’ve had enough conversations to trust that she’s an honest person.

Denise1847

I am not there as yet, but I would plan on locking things up and installing cameras in the room your DH is in to be sure the interactions and care and appropriate.

Kibbee

I put a lock on the large closet in my bedroom, and moved a filing cabinet into that closet. All documents of critical importance are now stored in that cabinet and the closet door is locked whenever I have a caregiver in the house. Documents stored in the cabinet include all financial statements and tax information, passports, POA / birth, death and marriage certificates, utility and credit card statements, and anything containing SSN or other identifying information. I also keep jewelry, spare cash and blank checks in the cabinet.

M5M

Thank you all. I just couldn’t visualize a good solution! I have a good closet that will work. Hadn’t thought so much about financial and all the documents. Need to get the lock installed. …but at this point I have time.

Ed1937

I like to think most people in this business are honest. But that doesn't mean they all are. Unfortunately it's up to us to protect whatever we have. That also includes any meds that could be a temptation. And anything with a monetary value. If they're licensed and bonded, that's good. But if anything is questionable, they are innocent until proven guilty`.

upstateAnn

One point. It is more likely things will disappear because your DO “hid” them,

sandwichone123

Narcotic medications should always be locked up, whether you are expecting anyone in the house or not. Do not tell strangers or family members if you have medications that have "street" value.

harshedbuzz

There are two sides to this situation.

As many folks pointed out, important papers (titles, deeds, poas, wills, etc) need to be secured so the PWD doesn't destroy of trash them. My father was very paranoid and rifled around looking for "proof". He also hid things he considered valuable and at risk (his drivers license-- he didn't drive but it was needed for medical ID). These went in a safe deposit box or locked file cabinet at home.

Anything that could be dangerous in the hands of a PWD needs to be out of the house, locked away, or disabled. This might include guns, power tools, knives, sports equipment, medication, toxic chemicals and cleaning products. When dad was at his most agitated, we put away or swapped out heavy lamps, small tables and most of the decor. He liked to smash things (even before dementia) and he had visual processing issues around glass in print frames as well as portraits so they came down.

Ahead of bringing help into the home, I would secure valuables. I suspect most thefts of this kind are more opportunistic in nature and you can never be certain your PWD didn't hide or dispose of something that's missing. I wouldn't have jewelry out laying on a dresser or stored in an easily transportable box as that would be risky in a burglary. This was how my mom's stuff went missing, she had a gold locket and some earrings on the dresser and a box with a few other things out. I would keep the stuff I almost never wear in the safe deposit box and the rest dispersed so it's not all in one easy place.

I don't think you need to give up your wedding set or signature pieces you wear daily. I don't think a HHA is going to rob you at gun point. That said, I know a number of folks who have swapped out valuable stones or pieces when their LO developed dementia and I have an almost funny story about that.

My favorite aunt clearly had mild vascular dementia when her husband died. They had no children and lived a 3-hour drive away from the nearest family who were pretty distracted with their own health issues. My other favorite aunt became her guardian after the disease progressed to the point where she was struggling with her IADLs. Guardian took her sister's jewelry for safekeeping and 5 years later, she, my mom, my cousin and I took turns picking from the stash. My aunt selected a couple of diamond bands (which are meant to come to me after she passes), my mother picked a large blue sapphire and diamond ring my uncle gave her for her 40th anniversary (my engagement ring is a sapphire and diamonds and she told her husband at their anniversary party how much she liked it so her bought her one), my cousin picked an Edwardian-era diamond engagement ring and I took her 1/2 carat engagement ring as I recall her letting me try it on as a kid.

I told my mom she needed to insurance the pieces she got, so I took her to the fanciest jeweler in town for an appraisal. The man looked at the piece and his face fell. It's a fake. The setting is 18K yellow gold, but it's clear my uncle swapped out the sapphire and 2 diamonds sometime before he died. The jeweler says people do this all the time. Mom felt like a fool for about 10 minutes and then treated herself to the genuine article.

HB