Crying, sadness, depression

bgp

I'm new here DH 83, dementia diagnosed 4 years ago but started well over 8 years ago. I am 15 years younger. He is well aware that his mind is not working right. I am a retired nurse, both my parents had Alz. So lots of experience related to ALZ and family. I believe he is at least stage 6. He is on the highest dose of antidepressant. This is not everyday but becoming much more frequent that he gets up in the morning, not sure of what time of day it is, and sits down for coffee. Then it's like a switch is flipped and he starts crying, it can go on for hours. When I ask whats wrong he says I am going to miss you all, I'm assuming me and his children. I try to engage him in anything that might distract him, doesn't work most the time. Any suggestions on how to get him to move past this? It is totally depressing me and wearing my patience thin. I'm trying my best to keep him at home as long as possible because I don't think he'll do well in a facility. No close family by to lean on here. Thx for any suggestions.

M1

welcome to the forum, i also am 15 years younger than my partner. Read about pseudobulbar affect, this may be a neurological problem that he cannot control. There is a medication called Neudexta that might be worth a try.

Marta

Yes. I second Nuedexta.

Iris L.

You say he is well aware that his mind is not working right. In that case, you might try to help him work on Best Practices to improve his functioning. Taking appropriate prescribed medications is the first step of Best Practices. This can include Nuedexta if prescribed. Then you and he can work on his diet, exercise, socialization and brain stimulation. Note: Best Practices is not meant as a cure for any dementia.

Iris

terei

I cant tell you how many times I have read ‘I cant believe how well he is doing at the MC facility. I thought for sure he would not handle it well at all + I was wrong’. IMO he should be medicated for pseudobulbar effect + be moved to a MC facility. If you are correct + he does not acclimate within a few months, there is no reason why you cant bring him back home.

Your physical + mental health are at least as important as his…please dont sacrifice your well being, especially since 99 times out of 100, the PWD does just fine at a facility.

Gig Harbor

I am sorry you are in this position. I am a retired nurse and am 12 years younger than my husband. He did not go thru the depression stage but he was always trying to leave and was quite agitated in the afternoons. I found myself being short tempered and frustrated because he had had 20 years of retirement and I was on track to have none. (I realize that this sounds selfish but it is the way I feel). I placed him and he did well. In the year that has gone by he no longer can remember how to walk and never tries to get out of his wheelchair. He only says one or two words but smiles a lot and looks relaxed. I moved him to a facility that had more hands on care and he is well cared for. If he were home he would be spending most of his time in bed because I would not be able to lift him into a chair. It is such a cruel disease. I think that what you have to remember is this: you did not cause his illness and you deserve to have a life too. When his care becomes too much don’t ever feel guilty for placing him. You can only do so much and he will be ok with what you decide. Have a place picked out in case he suddenly gets a lot worse and you can’t keep him at home.

Cherjer

I am so sorry with what you are going through with your dh.

My story is a little different,,,my dh is in late stage 7 and was diagnosed with AD in 2015. We had many good years until we didn't....in 2023 (late Jan) my dh qualified for hospice. Since then he has gained weight, walks each day and looks great. I have chosen not to put him in a MC facility, I have caregivers here every day as I cannot get him up in the morning nor put him to bed at night without help. Yes, it is pricey to have him at home and no, I do not have long term insurance. He gets wonderful care from my caregivers and myself. Each day is the same...but I am happy that he is happy...well I think he is fine...cannot express himself. But today he told me he loved me...can't get better than that...our journey has not been easy but now very stable and can't ask for more,

bgp

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/183829#Comment_183829

Thanks for your response. I took him to a neurologist and he suggested that diagnosis . He ordereed the medication but it was denied because he didn't have a head injury. Confusing !!

ImMaggieMae

bgp, according to drugs.com Dextromethorphan hydrobromide and quinidine sulfate are generic versions of Neudexta. It looks like you may be able to get them at Walmart or another pharmacy using goodrx and singlecare at a much lower price and perhaps just pay out of pocket, depending on the dosage and such. I would explore this with your doctor and see if one of these could be used instead.