Unmarried partner not living together

mary cameron

My bf of 77yrar d has had memory issues and I asked him to get evaluated. After months and months with several steps along the way he has been diagnosed with MCI. I can’t keep track of everything he does and it seems like he is forgetting a lot of things. Seems he thought he was scammed the other day and called ti make a police report. Several of his credit cards have had to be replaced due to ? Compromised.
So as a friend/gf I don’t know what I can or should do. He is not close with his adult children, I don’t think they do much more than a text on his birthday.
Suggestions. I have not found any support group on Kauai. The Neuro specialists are on Oahu and he has gone there by himself. I feel like some intervention, treatment or something should be started. The appointments and referral to Pacific Neuro science have been spaced out by so much with nothing really happening. Frustrated

Joe C.

Mary, Welcome but sorry you needed to seek out our community. Are his children aware of the diagnosis? I have no advice on your situation other than be careful about how much you get involved in his financial and health care decision. I could see this becoming a big issue with his adult children.

I did find 2 support on Kauai on the link below. I wish you the best.

https://www.alz.org/hawaii/helping_you/support

Lgb35

I agree with Joe. If your bf wants you to get involved I would recommend seeking out a CELA and have legal paperwork done. Without the paperwork his adult children could make life difficult for you. Now is the time to have some hard conversations and make plans while he still can.

good luck and please keep us updated❤️

this is a great place for advice and support

mary cameron

What is CELA

i don’t know if he has told his children.

I did speak to his sister in CA. She helps care for his brother who has ALZ.I don’t think he realizes how much his short term memory is affected.

he depends on me for social activities. We got together about 5 years ago as si flea who wanted a travel partner. Now I wonder what our travel future might be. It makes me so sad as he is one of the sweetest gentleman I have ever known.

how do I even brooch the subject about his kids who rarely contact him? Especially his son? They are all far away. I have never met. Plus his step children who he raised as well. They all wanted to talk to me after his open heart surgery 4 years ago. Then nothing.

I will look at link for support group. The neurologist on Oahu has not said much. No real guidance. Lifestyle doc apt in 2 weeks. I think his lifestyle is good, plays pickleball, rides bike, swims, eats fish and vegies, sleeps ok, super easy going, nothing seems to stress him. Me, I’m the worrier. I do t want to stir up trouble but I see the writing on the wall, it may be faint now, but I k ow it’s coming. I want him to stay happy and not be distressed.

any guidance for best books on subject for MCI. How much time is there? Our Africa trip got cancelled and we were talking about a New Zealand one.

thank you

Mary

Jgirl57

CELA is a Certified Elder Law Attorney . Very important for this bumpy journey.

JeriLynn66

The 36 Hour Day is an excellent resource

mary cameron

I put a hold on it at the library. Thank you

Joe C.

Mary, My wife and I traveled quite a bit from early stage up to mid stage 6. We took several trips to Europe, the Caribbean, Canada and various US destinations. In the early stages travel was no problem but in the later stages we always travel with family members. My advice is that if you want to travel do it now, it will only become more difficult as time goes by. Also if you are flying out of US airports google the TSA Cares program, by registering with TSA Cares they will assist you in navigating security.

mary cameron

Never heard of tsa cares. I was thinking that time could be running out for travel.

Joe C.

https://www.tsa.gov/news/press/factsheets/customer-service

The attached link provides the number for TSA Cares. When flying with DW I would register with them and when I got to the security checkpoint they would provided a dedicated TSA officer to guide us through screening and make sure we didn’t get separated.