Something new every day . . .

ESkayP

In the past 60 days, since my sister and I moved my mother into AL then MC, she has been steadily declining. Does it ever plateau? I understand that dementia is a terminal illness, but I keep reading how the stages can last for years at a time. For us, it seems like there is something new and bad every day. Delusions, confusion, high blood pressure, panic attacks, UTI, night wandering, depression, and now today, verbal aggression. The staff nurse called me when I got home from work because Mom had never been like that before. It's always something, and it's always bad. Will Mom ever settle in? Will I ever stop cringing when my phone rings? I'm feeling lower than ever tonight.

Quilting brings calm

The UTI causes a lot of those symptoms and it can take them several weeks to return to baseline after one. Have another test run to see if she either still has one or has gotten a new one.

we all thought my mom needed to go into a nursing home until the right medical facility diagnosed her with urosepsis . It took her over a month to start seeming much better. She’s been in an AL for 4 years ever since then.

I remember the days once she was in the AL of constant phone calls and never ending frustration with her behavior. I didn’t think she was ever going to calm down. The right combination of anxiety and depression medication helped Although the last few days have been rough after a medication change.

Two moves in 60 days can also exacerbate those symptoms. There is still hope for you that her decline will slow, and possibly reverse somewhat

Anonymousjpl123

My mom hasn’t plateaued but things have gotten better. She, too, had a UTI last week and it was rough. Thank god they caught it right away and she was treated quickly.

She is not (by far) perfect, but the past few days we have been able to actually enjoy two outings. We went shopping and this morning to aquacize. She clearly has dementia to anyone who meets her and can’t be left alone, but she can enjoy things and have fun.

The hellish feeling when the phone rings will pass when you realize she’s safe; really, truly safe. The fact that they are calling you to let me know makes me think it’s a responsible facility. My mother was so much better today it actually reminded me of her toxic self before dementia and it freaked me out a little (lol). It may take a few weeks or months, but I think you will get more used to the idea of where she is, and she will too. I don’t cringe when the phone rings anymore because I know she’s safe, and the constant anxiety was killing me. But my moved to AL last November and to MC 2 weeks ago so I’ve had more time to adjust.

it will settle down. Hang in there.

ESkayP

Thanks, Quilting. You've been helping me a lot lately. I keep getting little glimmers of her when she's having a good day, and I think, finally... she's found her stride. But, no... the good doesn't last. I will pursue the possibility of another UTI and also consult with her doctor about adding some anxiety meds. She hasn't dealt well with those kinds of meds in the past, but maybe it's time to try again. There has to be a way to stabilize her.

ESkayP

Thanks for the pep talk, @Anonymousjpl123 I needed to hear that, and I'm so glad you are getting to have some good outings with your mother! I have to remind myself that I, too am transitioning into the idea of having other people take care of Mom when it was only me before. Some of my upset has to do with letting go of that control and trusting in the MC staff there. I'll work on it.

Rottenkid

@ESkayP I agree with Quilting and Anonymousjpl123. UTI's can really mess with the person. My PWD has always been prone to having UTI's. She has got to the point that she doesn't even know when she has a UTI because she doesn't get the pain or burning anymore. She would get upset with me because for about a year and a half before she went to the rehab/nursing home I would have them check her for a UTI. She was always surprised when it would come back positive for one. When she entered the rehab/nursing home I let them know that she is prone to them and that she needs to be checked about every 2 weeks. It was a bit of a challenge, but with our PCP, they are checking her on a regular basis now, not just when she is having outburst or crazy behaviors. I would never have guessed or imagined just how bad a UTI could effect a person's behavior or appetite.

As to the transition, it is a transition for sure for both of you.