Dementia? Alzheimer? How do I cope with it?

nicole cr

Hello... My mom lives in another country. A country which medical resources are not really up to date and sometimes not even available. I took my mom to the doctor last December and the doctor said that she had some sort of depression and that is why she kept forgetting things. She came to the US to visit me a few months ago and a friend who is a doctor said to me: I only had dinner with your mom once to realize she has dementia. He said this because my siblings do not want to confront reality. They pretend nothing is happening. She has to wait a whole year for me to take her to the doctor or to even get things done. I live miles away and I try to take care of her as much as I can but truth is I can't do so much. I am in the last stretch of my Masters program and sometimes I think to just leave everything and go help her but I know this wouldn't be a very smart decision. How can I start coping with this?

Marta

What has caused you to post now. Has something happened, making the matter more urgent for you than it was a few months ago? School has started?

nicole cr

She has two ongoing law suits against the company she used to work. The lawsuits started back in 2021 when by then she seemed alright... The company have not payed her benefits and she doesn't receive any income that is why she decided to sue the company. Most of the time my immediate family do not update me on what is going on so I decided to call aunt (my sisters mom) to figure out what is going on. That is when I realized nothing is being done my mom has to do some paperwork for the lawsuit but nobody seems to help. My siblings do not want to land in reality... They keep saying she is getting better because she remembered some things last week... Truth is they don't even want to get informed on what this illness is about.

I think I decided to post because when I talk to other people they really don't seem to understand what it means to got through this type of situation... not even close. Sadly the people who is going through the same (my siblings) do not want to face it.

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Marta

Is there anyone other than you who can begin the process of getting your mother evaluated medically? It would be a shame if her cognitive issues are due to a reversible condition and she was not diagnosed.