A lucid moment...anyone else experience this?

mrahope

The most unbelievable thing just happened.  DH had a moment of lucidity in which he seemed to realize that his behavior had been unpredictable and unusual. He seemed to recall that two or three days ago he had made little balls of wet toilet paper and placed them all around the bathroom. He wondered aloud if there were other unusual behaviors he was doing. I explained that there were many, and that he was often angry. I was able to show him one example: he had put a tablespoon (bowl sticking out) into the knife block. He was surprised. I was able to tell him that he’d been continuously angry about his dental work and that no matter how often I explained the reasons for what had been done, he was furious everyday around 5 pm. I was able to explain to him that I felt it was dangerous for him to travel alone. He begged to be forgiven and I told him that it was a sickness. He didn’t cause it and can’t control it. I explained to him that it’s like asking to be forgiven for having brown eyes…it’s nothing that either of us can do anything about. I also said that the best we can do is to try and find little moments of joy each day, like blowing bubbles for our two year old granddaughter or enjoying his favorite dishes.. 

He even asked me who or if he should tell anyone about his struggles. I told him that it was completely up to him, but that most of the family is aware of it. I will treasure this moment always, and hope to recall it when times are tough.

Since he/we were simply told that he met the criteria for "mild dementia", and the neurologist didn't seem to think it was Alzheimer's, I'm wondering: has anyone else experienced these types of moments? Does this type of an isolated moment ring a bell for anyone? If so, what is your LO's diagnosis?

Pathfinder52

My DH is in stage 6 and these moments still happen (we've been at this 10 years). Just last night he said to me, "I don't think you should leave me on my own, my head is very, very confused!" -- amazing insight for someone who's 92 and hasn't been left alone for the last 5 years. So, just roll with it and think of it as a rare connection with reality that may or may not come again any time soon.

--p

mrahope

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Pathfinder52. It was, as I suspected, simply a short moment in time. By 5 pm he was yelling at me again and telling me he was going to travel out of the country. It seemed so real, but it ended up a mirage. Lesson learned.

Katielu

MRAhope,

I have been doing this for 19 months. Last month I had over an hour where DH was his old self, be vocabulary, sat up straight, strong voice, discussed his dementia intellectually and without anger… and most importantly for me, he HUGGED me and Comforted ME. I will cherish that hug forever and it has gotten me thru some difficult days.

I watched him slowly slip away, but it was beautiful.

mrahope

Thanks for this, Katielu. I see your DH may have vascular dementia and it makes me wonder if this might be something to consider in my DH’s case. Sad to know I’m not alone, but taking your advice to treasure these beautiful moments.

Jo C.

That is one of the most perplexing issues when it happens. My LO had off and on moments like that. I likened it to a light rheostat with the switch sliding up with sudden lucidity; and when the switch slid down, back to the dementia function. Sometimes the lucidity would last for a few hours, sometimes a day and upon rare occasion, for a couple of days. Though logically I knew it was temporary, I would somehow within myself find a tad of unrealistic hope that maybe we had turned a corner and it wasn't dementia after all and that the lucidity would last; but of course it did not, nor did my LO ever recall any of the lucid time communications.

Logic and emotion certainly do live on different planes of existence. I came to think of those moments as little gifts.

J.

Howaboutnow

Yes, we too have had an experience like yours that lasted a few hours. It was so foreign to not feel alone for those hours after being alone on this journey for years. It was overwhelmingly sad for me because I don’t want DH to experience the pain of dementia. And while he still didn’t totally comprehend the levity of the situation in those hours of clarity, he was worried about what was happening, trying to piece his memory back, and upset about what it was doing to me.

mrahope

Thanks for your comment, Howaboutnow. My DH, too, begged my forgiveness in his lucid moment. So sad, but so understandable.

mcguava

These moments always remind me of The Notebook.