Engagement for early-moderate stage

Riverviewer

Hello all,

I was wondering if anyone has suggestions for helping someone with early-moderate stage dementia stay engaged?

I live with my mom who is not diagnosed (the MSE indicated mild cognitive impairment), but almost certainly has some form of dementia (we are waiting for neurology to schedule an appointment). There is a family history with her mom having Dementia and her grandmother also likely had some form of dementia as well.

She retired at the end of May this year, and with retiring, I had originally planned on helping her find an arrangement to volunteer at a school or other place like a library to read to children or help with other tasks. However, over the past few months, her short term memory, word placing, and reading have declined and feel that volunteering may no longer be appropriate.

I have been able to work part time for the past year and a half, but have decided that to work full time, which I need to do if I it will work for myself and my mom. My mom is going to be spending more time at home alone now that I will be at work more, and I wanted to ask what suggestions everyone might have for helping her stay engaged. She wants to be involved with something, and I would love to help find something for her. I am going contact one of the local organizations that does day programming for individuals with varying levels of dementia to see what options might be available there. I was also going to see if any of her old co-worker friends who were close to her and are also retired to see if they would like to be involved as well. Does anyone have any suggestions for engagement or partnering with my mom to have some structure and engagement during her days? Fortunately, we have a great, well trained dog that gives her good company and she enjoys reading and coloring as well, but was wondering what else I might be able to do to help.

Thank you so much.

housefinch

It may depend on what her level of functioning is. She sounds pretty early if she has dementia, but that’s based only on what you’re saying here. Maybe try an adult day program. Sometimes, to get people with dementia to attend, families have said to their loved ones that the day program wants them as a new volunteer. She would be going as a participant, obviously, but using a little fiblet might help her be more willing to go. If she’s anywhere beyond very early stage dementia, she probably shouldn’t be left home alone all day for safety reasons. And be careful, because usually families underestimate their loved ones’ level of impairment where safety and problem solving in an emergency are concerned. The co-workers idea is a good one. It will depend on who has the right personality for working with someone with MCI/dementia, as some lovely people just lack those skills. Someone may be great, though. As things progress, if she does have dementia, she will be likely be less easily engaged by activities.

​fesk

Hi Riverviewer.

My recommendation would be to try to establish a routine now for your mother and let her contribute to helping in the house to whatever extent she is capable. Adjust the routine as needed as time goes by. Hopefully, that will be small steps.

If your mother is still in the early stages, I would carefully review any adult day centers. It may be too soon. There may be a regular senior center close by that your mother could go to with a companion/aide. We did this very successfully for years. A few times a week my mother would go with her aide, she made good friends, participated in exercise and activities. She hadn't done this before and it worked out great. I'd recommend seeing if there is a companion/aide that can come during the day while you are at work and engage with your mom - maybe they can do food shopping, cook simple dinners together, participate in the activities at the local center, go for walks, etc. I'd also periodically review whether her staying at home on her own while you work is safe.

Your mother is adjusting to retirement which is a big life change along with experiencing symptoms of MCI. Starting a new routine now early enough that she can adjust to it and allowing her to continue to use all the skills she can should help.

Hope this helps a bit.

MN Chickadee

We found an adult day program immensely helpful. They had staff trained and experienced with dementia. It was hard to get my mom to go at first, she resisted and said she hated it. But we kept at it and she really came to love it. The staff were good at finding things each client liked to do and she came to think she worked there. She loved the baking and walks, she liked helping out others with their crafts, helping the staff clean up and wipe down the kitchen etc. It became her job and the routine grounded her. Having social interactions/expectations be at a level she could manage kept her happy and busy. Normal volunteer or senior programs overwhelmed her because she couldn't keep up with cognitively normal peers. Most counties have a council or agency on aging. If you call them they should have a list of resources in your area for any programming specific to people with dementia. Or your local chapter of the Alzheimers Association.

​fesk

MN Chickadee - I agree an adult day program can be helpful. It depends on the quality of the center and the level of the person's impairment I think. That's why I say to carefully review. My mother with a companion went to a regular senior center for years. It was early days, she was not overwhelmed, and she just needed an eye kept on her. She formed meaningful relationships and participated in many activities and trips. Even as she progressed, they all knew and loved here there so she was able to continue to participate. Years later, it was no longer a good fit for where she was cognitively and the switch was made to a day center. I didn't care for the day center in our area. In fact, I think it was detrimental, but the one your mother went to sounds nice. Everyone's situation is different and all options should be reviewed for the best fit and then monitored to see when any changes are needed.

Riverviewer

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your responses. I appreciate you all reinforcing the safety issue and for your perspectives on regular vs dementia-specific programming. I hadn’t considered many of your points and ideas. Very much appreciated.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.