Help with daycare and personal therapist

JC5

Been looking to no avail for a memory cafe or daycare that my DH would actually be interested in going to. He’s not into chair balloon volleyball or painting classes or such! There doesn’t seem to be anything in my area for those with mid stage dementia to participate in! Something that would stimulate his mind. He loves sailing, history, firefighting, sports! I’m at a loss. I have also seen post about caregivers who see therapists! Would love to be able to talk one on one with someone to help me sort things out! Who are your therapists and do they specialize in caregivers? Thanks for any support!

tucson anne

I think this is a huge problem that is unresolved. My DH doesn't like crafts, can't remember how to play any card games, rejected some building toys (those magnetic tiles). He reads, watches a little t.v., and we go to our local and wonderful neuro wellness gym. That totals about 5 hours a week. He tries to help with gardening, housework, and sometimes I totally lose it when he can't do the task. He stares at me with puppydog eyes and I just feel helpless, for him and for myself. All the suggested activities are for women who like crafty things. Our local social worker has zero suggestions; the local day program is for developmentally disabled people and it's also mainly crafts. Sigh. When you find and answer, let me know!

Jeanne C.

I was able to find a local day program run by Easter Seals. They seem to have a relationship with local veterans organizations so there are more men in the program than at the other local program (though it's by no means limited to vets). They do some crafts but also include exercise, games (like trivia tournaments) and time spent discussing current events. So my point is see if there is a program that has a relationship with veterans because it may have more activities that appeal to your husband.

PS it's worth noting that the program isn't limited to memory issues - there seems to be a variety of dx as well as ages there, which appealed to my husband because he's 64 and the other local program was quite senior-level.

Iris L.

You might hire a retired man to do guy things with him a few hours a day.

Iris

Belle

JCS I don't have any advice on the daycare issues. Hoping that my local VA has some programs for my DH when the time comes (probably not too long from now). As far as finding a therapist that understands caregivers I have found it might take a few tries to get the right person. I started seeing my current therapist for other issues but she used to work for hospice, so when my DH was diagnosed I found she had enough understanding to be helpful to me. A few previous people I talked to were completely clueless and when I felt like I wasn't getting the support I needed I moved on.