Bad day...maybe this is the new normal?

annie51

Time to vent...over the last few days my DH is getting more and more difficult, getting upset more often than before. We've been playing pickleball which has been a good distraction, but today he got upset over something that he perceived wrong and, of course, I couldn't convince him that there was nothing different than every other day we play. So we left after one game and now he doesn't want to go there anymore because of the perceived "bad apples" (he used a much stronger word!).

I got him to agree to a walk in the park, which was very enjoyable, then a little work in the yard. Still more hours left in the day so "how about a movie" (my go-to activity when I run out of ideas). Every movie I suggest gets shot down. I couldn't stay calm (my bad). These bad days are becoming more frequent and I know this is probably the new normal. Need to come up with more possible activities to fill a day. I am venting but if there is any advice out there, it would be welcome.

Denise1847

Hi Annie,

It could be the "new normal" or perhaps the beginning of a UTI or some agitation. Consider getting him tested for a UTI and speak to his doctor to see if meds are warranted for anxiety/agitation.

M1

Annie, is he pestering you for things to do, or are you feeling obligated to provide activities? Just wondering. My partner developed a lot of apathy and loss of executive function as she progressed, and while it bothered me for her to sit idle, it didn't bother her, and i learned to live with that. She would sit at her desk and shuffle old papers for hours on end, watch Oldies on TV, and vacuum repeatedly. Harmless, and she was fairly content. I had to watch carefully that she didn't try to repay old bills, write checks to animal charities, answer scam phone calls, and overfeed our animals. But i learned that it was okay to let her just sit. In her right mind she was constantly busy, but that changed as the disease progressed.

SDianeL

Most days my DH is content sitting in his chair watching TV. Sometimes he says he wants to go somewhere and we go for a ride. His knees are shot so he can't do much but I don't think he would want to even if he could. Even going out to dinner was stressful for him. The menu and activity was overwhelming. Maybe time to scale back and only do one thing each day? Or find things he can do without being overwhelmed. He's calling people names because he's not reasoning. If he's becoming agitated, there are medications to help that. My husband can no longer read a book or follow a movie plot. His TV watching is old westerns, Wonder Woman (LOL) and WWE. Simple plots.

annie51

Thank you for your comments.

M1 - he does pester me for things to do sometimes and yes, I do still feel obligated to provide activities, but many times he is content to watch movies on TV (he was always one to watch his favorites over and over and over again, so that's a blessing now). After breakfast, most days he asks "what are we doing today?" so I feel the pressure to have something planned. He's happy with even a quick trip to do errands but that doesn't fill much of the day! Thank goodness we have a house with a yard because he likes to go out and pick up the yard and trim the vegetation as needed. If he sits too long completely idol, he starts dredging up things that upset him or other things I'd rather he not think about.

It should get a bit better here in Florida as we go into our nicer weather so we can get out and walk the parks or do other outdoor activities without melting. Lol.

Ed1937

Annie, I'm sorry, but this might be the new normal. There should be plenty of things he might want to watch on TV. There are many free streaming possibilities these days, and you should have little trouble finding nature based videos, fishing, sports, hobbies like woodworking, painting, etc.

Other than that, would he be interested in doing simple jigsaw puzzles or something similar? If he is OK with watching TV all day, that isn't hurting anything. Only worry about the things that are unsafe or otherwise need attention (like financial business)

Drapper

My husband is always asking me what we are going today too. I think he just wants to know there is a plan. I often plan one am activity and one afternoon activity. With lunch and a little tv in between. The activity could just be running errands, just to get out of the house. Since your husband is active maybe doing stretching or weights at home could be thing to try. (Or join a gym) My husband use to like doing exercises watching a utube video for seniors. My DH is napping now , he had a big day out with companion. (Golf driving range snd Burger King ). Down time is good.