Jealousy, shadowing, and needy for constant attention all day.

justbreathe2

My DH was diagnosed this last Spring with MCI. The neurologist prescribed Donepezil and doesn’t want to see us for 9 months…Feb.1. From what I read and learn from others I am certain he is early stage.

He knows something is wrong but won’t accept it. Things can be fine for days then one day he blows up because the tone of my voice, phone, etc. It is very difficult to keep him busy, bc he can not read or follow movies. His memories are gone. He follows me around all day with sexual remarks and wanting attention. It is never enough. It is wearing on me. I am very good to him but yet he tells me I am not caring. My adult daughter stops and he embarrasses me with sexual comments about me. I explain to him she doesn’t want to hear this stuff, but he just laughs. I walk the dog and he watches me and he is jealous of neighbors I stop and chat a few minutes. Says he doesn’t want to share me. I do get out for a few hours some days, but I know he prefers I stay home. This is not him. He refuses anxiety meds and it is difficult to know how to handle. If I send the doctor a note he will see it and be mad.

Sorry to vent…this has been a long week. He wants me to sit with him. I have back issues and sitting doesn’t help me. I patiently listen and explain things over to him many times a day.

Anyone have these kinds of issues with your LO?

Jeanne C.

I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this. A lot of what you mentioned really resonates with me - it's like you're describing our life until we had a diagnosis and finally started meds. May I suggest you learn about frontotemporal dementia? If you feel like the symptoms and behaviors are getting worse, you should reach out to the doctor. Some meds work for one dementia but not another. Donepezil is one that actually makes FTD worse.

M1

Would also suggest you tell the docs specifically about the sexual content of his remarks and the jealousy. There may be meds that will help but you may have to give them surreptitiously, such as in liquid form.

Davegrant

Justbreathe2

I have similar experiences since my DW was diagnosed with MCI in 2017. The most I have to share is to "take care of yourself." I hear that in my support groups and with all that I read about dementia. I get out twice a week for three to four hours at a time. My DW resists it all the time and my DIL who stays with her when I am away tells me that my DW goes to the garage 5 times to see if I am back. Her PP recently put her on. Risperidone which was mostly for her anxiety, and it has helped a little.

I keep my DW's PCP informed by writing letters to her to keep her up to date between appointments and she has been responsive to my concerns. My experience has shown me it is best to try to live a day at a time. I never know what to expect but I am trying to take care of myself but pursuing some of the same interests that I had before DW's dementia. I have modified some to online activities as my AA meetings and medication book clubs. I also go to luncheons once a month with my former classmates. I am trying not to be consumed by the thoughts of dementia every day. This is my challenge. I do pay attention to my health and while I may not exercise as I use to, I think I am doing more by doing the household chores both inside and outside.

I think for me the biggest challenge has been the emotional support issue and I think that I am learning to use the support that is out there and it's there when I seek it.

Dave

justbreathe2

Jeanne C.

Thank you for your information. Yes, we need a diagnosis. I think the Neurologist knew with our 1 appointment and talking with my husband for 15 minutes. The doctor said to me at the door…I don’t think it is Lewy Body, Frontotemporal, or Parkinson’s… he is not showing those signs. Well, that was last April. He has been doing mostly the same until recently with the jealousy, sexual comments, and his memory. We discussed today, and I tell him that I feel we need to talk to doctor about meds. He was unsure, but trusts me and think I will be able to get a note off. Of course, he won’t remember this discussion tomorrow. I will read up on Frontotemporal to see if I see the comparison. Thank you!

justbreathe2

M1

Thank you for your comments. I have been reading others posts over the last several months. I do recall someone talking about the sexual content and a reply named a drug that would help control it. Do you recall the name of that drug? Thank you!

justbreathe2

Davegrant,

Thanks!

Yes, I have been trying to read everything I can about this disease. I know my mental health is falling behind because of not getting good sleep. DH is on my mind 24 hours a day. I am trying to work on it. My DH goes to bed at 8:00 pm so I need that time to read, watch a movie, or just enjoy the quiet. While I get out several times a week to shop, visit a friend, appointments, it’s not the routine I used to have. I stopped going to the gym 3 times a week and miss a routine. I do work out in our basement everyday, but not getting the social I need. It’s all guilt leaving my husband and know I have to get over it. I am grateful for now he can be left alone for awhile, he trusts me to handle everything and with me driving. My DH still has some good things going for him now but seeing small changes. I so wish we could get a diagnosis and that would help. Our healthcare here is not good. I know the doctors are busy, but I feel so alone handling it all. Grateful for this site! Thank you!

Marta

Just Breathe: it is the atypical antipsychotics that suppress libido. Examples are:

Seroquel (quetiapine)

Risperdal (risperidone)

Zyprexa (aripiprazole)

These all come with a black box warning for use in the elderly with dementia (increased risk of stroke and death); however, you’ll have to evaluate the benefits and risks. Many of the members are using these meds for unacceptable behaviors, which impact both the PWD and their caregivers.