Reaching Breaking Point

wilsgurl

I am the daughter and only child of a dad who has baseline dementia/Alzheimer’s and a severe behavioral disorder. Dad had to leave his assisted living because we could no longer afford the monthly cost. He has been staying in a hotel for over a month while I struggle to find a new facility for him. Paying for his room, meals, and someone to take care of him for nearly two months has taken all of his monthly retirement check, Social Security, and has overdrawn my bank accounts and maxed out my credit cards. I cannot borrow because I have too many loans out and I have no family who can help me. I want to start a Gofundme, but I don’t have or use social media and there is a sense or pride and shame; plus I’m a very private person. The stress of all of this has gotten me to my breaking point and I don’t know what to do. Hopefully, sharing my experience with those who can understand what I’m going through will help me feel a little bit better.

terei

Contact your local county social services department for help. They can advise you and / or refer you to agencies that can help. They should be a ble to initially give you a list of what you are going to need as far as documents to get started to find him placement. I hope I do not have to tell you NOT to bring him into your own home. Tell social service that he cannot live with you either.

MP8

Agree with terei, but if you need to speak with someone more immediately, this being the start of the weekend, you might call the 24-hour Alzheimer Association helpline, 800.272.3900. I've spoken with them several times when I was at wits' end and it helped a lot with practical advice + resources.

On the off chance that your father was a war veteran: there is an "Aid and Attendance" benefit that he may be eligible for and that could provide some additional support for AL.

andreasandoval688

Hi! I’m new here. Wanted to mention that I applied for the ALW (assisted living waiver) for my mom here in CA. Through this program, they pay for her room/board at an assisted living facility. Hopefully you have something similar in your area. Sending hugs and prayers. Hang in there.