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Katcat

Iris L.

You can no longer just ask, you will have to take over. The members have good tips on how to accomplish this. PWDs gradually lose their ability to initiate anything.

Iris

M1

Try showering with him if you can. Very warm room and step by step instructions also help.

GiGi1963

I just tell my DH it's time for your shower. I'll start the water for you. He reluctantly takes his clothes off mumbling but gets in. I think he doesn't know the steps required to take a shower on his own but if I get it ready he does the rest himself. Usually once a week unless a special occasion or accident. Shaving is a chore. I'm trying for a goatee so don't have as much to shave! Hope this helps.

Ed1937

With the weather getting cooler, it's likely that he will be more reluctant to bathing unless you can get the room plenty warm for him (not for you). Sometimes a little aroma therapy helps, as does music for him. An Alexa or something similar works just fine for that. If he showers, get the water temp ready for him before he gets in. Water heater should be set a little below 120 degrees to stop him from getting burned if he turns the cold water off. As M1 suggested, maybe get in there with him. In my opinion it's better to warm the whole house, rather than just the bathroom because if he comes from a nice warm bathroom into a much colder room, that could be shocking for him. If he can put 2 and 2 together, that could make him more resistant next time.

Katcat

Thank you everyone.

Joydean

Good luck to you Katcat! I have to shower my dh because he has no idea what to do even when I tell him wash here or any instructions. I have a shower chair and I get in and wash his telling him okay I’m going to wash your back and so on. But when it starts to get a little cooler he will not cooperate at all! He is always cold no matter how hot it is outside or in the house. I also have to shave him. Like you if I can get him in there once a week I count that a win! My dh was a guy that took a minimum of 3 showers a day! I used to complain about all the laundry but now, oh for those days again!

Katcat

Where would I buy a shower chair? That might help. Thanks so much.

M1

Just Google shower chair. Amazon has them as do many pharmacies, walmart, etc. As well as medical supply stores. not expensive.

Katcat

Yup I found the chairs on Amazon however he does not want one. Thanks.

JDancer

Get the chair. At some point in the dementia journey, the patient can no longer make decisions. As his caregiver, it's up to you.

Drapper

I agree JDancer. Just get it. If you put a warm wet hand towel on seat it makes it more comfortable. I had to use a shower chair after a bad accident I had two years ago. I actually liked it.

gampiano

yup, get the chair. It will be the first of many decisions that you will make on your own, and youre going to need it , and believe me, that day will come when you least expect it.

annewilder

Lots of churches have durable goods closets as do the thrift stores, A good rub down with Clorox wipes and a rinse will be fine for a shower chair. We had to move downstairs to the guest room with a tiny tiles shower stall.....shower chair fits in there and the good thing is that it's hard to fall in a tiny space :-). Also changed the shower head out for a magnetic one...definitely a great idea.

Joydean

Definitely get the shower chair. If you don’t use it right away that’s okay too. But you will have on hand. You never know how soon before you will. When I first came on this forum I was reading about how to layer the bed and different pull-ups. Wasn’t even close to needing any of that. But I ordered all the things that were mentioned and stored them in the closet. (So glad I did because most of that information is not on the new format) I have been using those products and have added to them. I was glad I had them on hand and didn’t have to wait. As you know our lo can change or progress in a blink of an eye. Best of luck to you!

One other thing, my dh didn’t want the shower chair either, so one day I got it out of the closet and decided to use it myself. Dh came in bathroom and asked what I was doing, I also had the magnet shower head, told him I was enjoying sitting down getting a shower! Next thing I knew he decided he wanted to try it! 😂

Soul Mate

My husband couldn't handle being cold - even if I warmed up the bathroom being naked was too much for him, even though we had a heater in the bathroom. I had to have him sit on a shower chair by the sink covered in towels that I had just warmed in the dryer. Then I helped him wash each body part one by one using rinse free body wash (from drugstore) and continuously putting the wash cloth under warm water.

Katcat

Thanks everyone. I thought to myself I should just get the chair because everything is confusing to him these days. Will do tomorrow on Amazon prime day.

Jazzma

If your shower is big enough, try inviting him to shower with you. So far that works with my DH. I offer to lather him up with a sly laugh, so it's almost sex play. He's okay with that.

Katcat

Yup thought of it but unfortunately not going to work

Elshack

At this point you don't ask his opinion or what he wants on anything. You make the decision. Get the chair and use it yourself first and just leave it in the shower. Don't remind him to take a shower. You have to say in a friendly voice with a smile on your face. Time for a shower now! Even when he is in the shower you can suds him up yourself and use a hand held shower nozzle to spray him. My DH really liked the towel that I had warmed up in the drier when I dried him off. Be sure you test the water first and be sure it isn't too hot. My DH always felt like he was drowning when the shower hit his head. Thus using the hand held shower nozzle solved that problem. Another hint. Tell him that after the shower he will get a special dessert he likes!

Katcat

Elshack

love your ideas about treat after shower. And heating up towel in dryer. Thank you.

Iris L.

PWDs are unsteady on their feet so a shower chair is very helpful. If they close their eyes under the shower flow, they become more unsteady. If you can find a chair with a cut-out in the front, that helps with cleaning the private area.

Iris