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How to handle inappropriate urination

Jazzma
Jazzma Member Posts: 120
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My 74-year old DH is in mid-stage Alzheimers. Recently he has started peeing in odd places -- a wastebasket, the garage floor, the sunroom floor, etc. A diaper isn't really an option because it's not like he can't control it, he just doesn't limit it to the toilet. I've removed most things that might be inviting targets (like wastebaskets, large vases, etc) but it still happens randomly, and if I don't catch it soon enough things start to smell. Has anyone else dealt with this? Ideas?

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  • gampiano
    gampiano Member Posts: 330
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    Up until recently, i was dealing with this issue for many months. Things would improve for awhile, and then the free style peeing would begin again. Husband wore pull ups, and was incontinent at night, but still managed to pee outside the pull up . I have no solution . Now he is bed ridden after falling on friday, and were using diapers because he cant walk. hates it but i have to say its a relief to be able to walk around the house without being the urine inspector.

    It is one of the most frustrating issues i have experienced,

    I am so with you,

    Maureen

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 806
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    Jazzma,

    Your post took me back years, YEARS! to mid stage Alz with my DH. I can only share what I did, early and often. I was with him, watching him like a hawk, 24/7. He never used a toilet independently for probably 6 years before I placed him. It was draining but I can count on 10 fingers the number of “accidents “ he had while at home with me. Even throughout the night, if he stirred, I leaped out of bed and took him to the bathroom. He was placed in a MCF in Nov., 2021, and passed 17 months later. Looking back, it was exhausting; I don’t know how I kept it up, but in the moment, the effort outweighed the consequences. I surely don’t envy you. Stay strong.

  • Howaboutnow
    Howaboutnow Member Posts: 133
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    Jazzma- I too am the Pee Police. I find myself inspecting the floors on my hands and knees feeling for tacky spots on the wood. I’m beyond tired of it. You’re right, a disposable brief doesn’t help under the circumstances where they know they need to go just don’t know where. Garage, corner of bedroom, my office, the dogs water dish, a garbage can, into a chair. DH now wears briefs due to BM accidents and I’ve noticed sometimes he has peed in it probably during the night. Frankly, I’d rather have the brief getting it than around the house….but indiscriminate peeing is still an issue for us.

    You’re doing all i could think of. Removing anything resembling a reservoir and when he seems to be looking, quickly ask if he needs to pee so you can redirect.

    I’m sorry you’re facing this. It is exhausting.

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,091
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    edited October 2023

    About the only possible solution I can think of would be to use pull ups or diapers, while using clothing that is difficult or impossible for them to get out of. https://www.buckandbuck.com/ should have something that can help.

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 120
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    Thank you all for your comments. While frustrating, it helps to know that other people have been through it too. Air fresheners, floor/surface inspections, trying to catch him and redirect before he pees.....I can do all that, and clean up as needed. I'd still much rather have him at home than not.

  • Gandy@TN
    Gandy@TN Member Posts: 3
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    I am dealing with the same problem with my husband. It is so frustrating and I feel like the house smells like a boys locker room!

    Last night he just walked to the bedroom and with the pull up on peed in the floor:-0

    Then climbed into bed to go to sleep!😴

  • michiganpat
    michiganpat Member Posts: 143
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    My brother with Lewy body started peeing everywhere but in the toilet. He was not incontinent but would not use the toilet. 2 days before he passed he let his wife guide him to the toilet and he peed in it, first time in months. Such a horrible disease.

  • CStrope
    CStrope Member Posts: 487
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    6 months ago or so, I was having the same problem with my DH. I stopped giving him his Risperadone at night and it seemed to help. Now this weekend we are visiting my daughter, and he has used the dogs' water bowl, and my brand new shoes. I'm hoping when we get back home this doesn't continue.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,049
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    My husband was getting up to go to the bathroom and was disoriented. He went into the closet and I caught him in time. He said "I got lost" -- My husband has Alzheimer's-Posterior Cortical Atrophy which affects eyesight. I did some research and found tips for all types of Dementia & Alzheimer's. I put night lights in the closet, in the bedroom, in the hall and in the bathroom. I put another light on top of the toilet tank. A pretty bright light. I put toilet bowl cleaner that turns the water blue. I put a bright red urinal in the bathroom. So far it's helped. I bought an alert to put by his bed to alert me when he gets up but so far haven't had to use it. I bought a sign for the bathroom door (recommended by my research) and they say use furniture to block off areas you don't want them to go. I realize that as his disease progresses that these methods probably won't work. But thankful they are working so far. He's 78, Stage 5 going into Stage 6. here are some other tips https://www.alzheimersblog.org/2016/09/06/toileting-tips-tricks/

  • Carmen M
    Carmen M Member Posts: 39
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    So glad I saw this posting becos a big issue for myself also. My LO has to wear a depends 24/7 but during the nite when he sleeps, I have to put a thick pad in the depends to stop the pee from leaking out onto the bed. I use the Depends brand but it will stills leak at nite. My LO soils the Depends as he walks to the tiolet and by the time he gets to the tiolet and pulls down the Depends, he pees all over the front of the depends as well as the floor. Yes I am also the pee police, have to wipe the floor, his feet, change the pants . It is truly exhausting.

    Went to see a urologist last week, they are prescribing Mybtreq which is suppose to help fill the bladder before the urge to pee. Haven't received med yet. Has anyone tried this medication?

    I also have to jump out of bed when my LO gets up to pee. I use motion lights but he still needs direction to find the bathroom. I think he is disoriented when he gets up in the middle of nite.

    Also, my LO has also removed the depends in the middle of the nite and I see it in the bed or on the floor. That's when I know the bed will be all wet as well as the floor. Why would he remove the depends? Any suggestions?

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,091
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    Carmen, you might want to try a higher quality brand of incontinence wear. Parentgiving.com is the place I used, and I can't say enough positive things about them. They have high quality solutions, and they are an excellent source, in my opinion. You can order trials of different options, and that might be best to see which ones work best for you. You can also call them for suggestions on which ones to try. The number is on the website.

    Are you familiar with layering the bed? If not, let us know. We'll walk you through it, and you will find it very helpful, especially if you have to change the bedding in the middle of the night.

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    DH's neurologist prescribed Myrbetrig to see if it would help with suspected overactive bladder. DH was on it for a year, but I did not have the prescription renewed as it did not seem to provide any improvement in his specific situation. Also, it is a somewhat pricey drug. Our cost was $50 per month but if we had not had insurance coverage it would have been quite a bit more.

    I came to the conclusion that DH urinary problems were really not overactive bladder, but a lack of ability to manage urination. A big part of the problem was that his mobility kept him from getting quickly to a bathroom. Because of that he was already in disposable underwear. For a while he was able use a urinal, but eventually his ability to manage that declined. Issues with poor timing and not being able to match up the urinal opening with his relevant body part caused a lot of misses and spills. I finally gave up on the urinal and just accepted that he would be 100% dependent on the Depends. In some ways it is a lot easier. Yes, we are filling up the landfills (ugh) and I have to assist him with underwear changes, but I'd rather do that than mop floors and wash endless sheets and clothes.

    That was our experience with Myrbetrig, yours may be different. If your insurance will cover it, it may be worth a try.

  • Howaboutnow
    Howaboutnow Member Posts: 133
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    edited October 2023

    Kibbee

    I’m quasi looking forward to just having disposables. DH wears them all the time due to BM accidents, and now some urination while sleeping, but during day still pees in toilet, which he often can’t find, or all the other places I’ve mentioned 😏

    No sooner did i finish my comment, found DH peed on living room floor in middle of the night. One of those days i feel like i.just.can’t.anymore.

  • Marta
    Marta Member Posts: 694
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    Invest in clothes that cannot be removed by the wearer from Buck and Buck.

  • CStrope
    CStrope Member Posts: 487
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    Follow up.....once we returned home DH started appropriately using the bathroom again. Just goes to show you how an unfamiliar place can cause all sorts of confusion.

    Also, when we were having such issues before, I hung an inexpensive shower curtain on a small tension curtain rod in the hallway just past the bathroom door so that if he did get up in the night he would not wander to other parts of the house to urinate.

  • Carmen M
    Carmen M Member Posts: 39
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    Thank you for the comments regarding bathroom issue.

    Now today was another incident. My LO didn't know if he needed to do his BM so we went to the toilet and once he sat down, he had a BM. Then he was concerned as to why he didn't feel the urge. Is this something caused by the dementia? Then he mentioned that maybe he is dying and that is why his body is acting or not acting like it should. He is also wearing depends 24/7

    This is first time he mentioned that he maybe dying. My heart just dropped and I just reassured him that he is not dying and maybe tired today.

    Will try the Mybtreq and see if it helps.

  • Marta
    Marta Member Posts: 694
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    edited October 2023

    Yes. Not feeling the urge for a BM is part of the progression- good he is in Depends.

    I am so sorry, Carmen. I think I heard your heart break 💔

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 120
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    Sad as it is, it helps to hear other comments. Yesterday was the first time my DH pooped in his pants. He tried to hide it from me and created a bigger mess. He was confused and embarassed. We got everything cleaned up, showered, stuff in the laundry. Later in the day I went into the garage and found a pile of poop on the floor -- I guess that's where it started. Left me just wanting to sob.

    I know this is one of the steps on the road. I just hate all this.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,755
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    edited December 2023

    Welcome to the blue glove club. It stinks. I'm trying to keep my spirits up, ha. So far I've been lucky to not have any surprise locations for DH to do his business. Maybe because we were homebound together for most of this journey and I have had to keep him in view at all times due to his long time elopement risk.

    If you are having lots of pee everywhere, it could be time to upgrade the incontinence products. I had to stop using Depends early on, as they were not absorbent enough to do the job a few months into his urinary incontinence. The elasticized waistband on the "better fit upgrade" also irritated him to the point it caused uti's and serious skin irritation. Leading to meds, ointments and more high maintenance on my part. We replaced them with a higher quality incontinence briefs made for PWDs and others, and it minimized laundry, leaks and all that. Luckily, hospice (his Medicare) covers the cost and also delivers them to us weekly. His VA benefits would cover them too I'm told, if he were to graduate from hospice (which is unlikely now that he's early stage 7)

    Note, we switched from pull-ups to the tabbed "diaper" style at one point to avoid the challenge with getting his leg in and out of pants each time we changed wet unders. Eventually he started getting the tabs open in his sleep and we had waterworks, bedding, clothes and so much getting wet every nap or overnight. So, we went back to high quality pull-ups earlier this year, and our current solution came from our hospice CNA who recommended adding a separate pad to put inside the pullups which don't have to be changed every time I change the pad insert.

    It is a lot, but cut way down on the laundry and mopping, and keeps his skin from breaking down which is really worth it.

  • terei
    terei Member Posts: 591
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    I second looking into clothing that cannot be removed from the front

    heres a link

    https://www.silverts.com/mens-stay-dressed-jumpsuit-with-short-sleeve-polo-shirt

  • JDancer
    JDancer Member Posts: 473
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    We're not at this point, yet.

    I wonder if it would be helpful for he caregiver to have access to a urinal, ready to "capture," the urine stream.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more