It's come to this

emhanson

I visited my parents this past weekend. My mother has dementia and my father is in poor health. But they want to be together in their home. Mom can't cook anymore and until recently, dad drove them out to eat every day. But now he is too dizzy to drive and has decided mom can drive them to doctor appointments (he has congestive heart failure) and restaurants. The last time I rode with her (a few years ago) she was driving on the wrong side of the road without a clue that it was a problem. Her doctor talked her into giving up driving. This past weekend, I saw my father so weak that he couldn't walk and could barely get up. He is experiencing incontinence and their house smells like urine. Mom was trying to get diapers and pants on him, but this was a hard thing for her to do. A neighbor who has been checking in on them won't let her daughters check in for her because he refuses to wear pants. (Too hard to get on). I took mom grocery shopping and got a lot of things she could just heat up, vs ingredients to make a meal, as there was no food in the house. They try to act like this is all normal. Dad can't keep track of all the meds he is taking, even though a caretaker comes in to sort them all out. While I was there, they were asking me questions about their bank statements. Dad was recently swindled for 26K. I try to honor their wishes, but after this weekend, called Adult Protective Services for their county in WI. I haven't heard anything from them since they said they were opening files on mom and dad and would be visiting them. Such mixed feelings. And my husband has dementia but that is another story.

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wigmaof9

"It is stress squared." Spot on! My folks are 85, Dad has middle to almost end stage Alzheimer's and Mom is just a mess. They refuse to move to assisted living. (Believe me... I've spent 18 months trying to move them!) I have their POA but Mom refuses to get the cognition test. She would also fail. I live 45 minutes away. Oh the stories I could share! Dad had hand guns, but because his hallucinations have gotten o bad, I took them out of the house. Sure enough, he bought 2 more. Honestly, I need mental help.

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