The Most Important Task

Iris L.

IMO, the most important task after receiving a diagnosis of cognitive impairment or dementia is to develop a philosophy. This is so I can go forward and keep going forward. I've been slipping into chaos lately, and only my philosophy keeps me going, because I have something to fall back on and to provide direction for my life.

Iris

PRN

What do you mean by “ develop a philosophy”?

Iris L.

I mean I decided how I would approach this failing chapter of my life. In 2009 I was diagnosed as having cognitive impairment nos, but not dementia, by my neurologist. In 2010 the head geriatrician at a university medical center and ADRC (Alzheimer's Disease Research Center) told me I had to accept that I had dementia. This threw me into a deep depression. I came out of the depression only with the support of the members here. I made a few decisions, which was developing my philosophy of living my life going forward. I called these "three nots and a will".

I decided, if I have dementia, I will not go out like a victim. I will not sit in a corner and wait to die. I will not become a burden to my family or friends. I will do whatever it takes to maintain my independence. This means making my own decisions and living proactively and anticipating future changes.

I have been learning what I need to do for myself from the board members. Most doctors and other professionals who claim to work with older adults have been disappointments as far as giving advice for living with cognitive impairment.

A few years later I learned from an Amyvid PET scan that I do not have Alzheimer's Disease. But the cognitive impairment remains and still impacts my life. I have to remind myself of my philosophy to keep going forward.

I hope this explains what I mean by develop a philosophy, PRN.

Iris

Addendum: I also realized, that in order for me to function, I have to live in a bubble, and I have to live like Groundhog Day, meaning I need day-to-day consistency.

Iris

dancsfo

I like your philosophy, @Iris L. It is a combination of living life well, not feeling defeated, but also accepting what cannot be changed and living within those constraints.

DrMichaelSG

Iris, you're a voice of reason. I think I stated it elsewhere that my philosophy is that I now live in the present (in THIS moment), not in the past, not in the future. It is this disease that has forced me to live in the present -- doing so was not my choice. But...it works well. VERY well:

My newfound philosophy of "presentness" keeps me from ruminating on past mistakes (or on what I didn't do or accomplish), AND it keeps me from "chasing the future." To explain, when the future that we always wanted and worked so hard for finally arrives, we will most always find that that future is not what we thought it would be. In response, we again find ourselves chasing a new and different future. Thus, we are never satisfied, we're constantly looking forward, never enjoying the "now". Not that we shouldn't plan ahead (or reminisce on the past), but we should try our best to live for today, to live in the now, in THIS moment (and not in THAT). I've personally found this to be a very safe - and far more comfortable - place to be. Not always, things happen. But mostly.

Mike