Successful placement

Arrowhead

This is a summary of my wife’s journey so far. I hope it might be helpful to someone.

January 2013. She reported memory loss to her doctor. She was 58.

November 2015. She started having problems at work doing her job.

July 29, 2016. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She was 61.

June 2019. Started wandering. She was 64.

May 2022. Started wearing diapers. She was 67.

October 2, 2023. Placed in an assisted living facility, 26 days before her 69th birthday.

It’s a nice place. She has her own room, but there is a common area to share with the other residents. I like the staff and she seems happy there. I’m not ready for this, but she is and that what counts.

SDianeL

Thank you for sharing. Such a heartbreaking and terrifying disease. My DH 78 was diagnosed 2 years ago but looking back at CT Scan in 2015 he already had some white matter disease. The doctors didn't mention it to me. They may have to him. He's now in Stage 5, going into Stage 6. His diagnosis recently changed to Alzheimer's-Posterior Cortical Atrophy based on his behavior because he can't have an MRI. It's already affecting his vision. I can't tell him that. I just can't. You took care of her for almost 11 years, she is lucky to have you. I can't imagine making the decision to place my DH in a facility but I know that the time will come when I can no longer care for him myself and that it's the best thing for both of us. Sending hugs.

Ed1937

Arrowhead, it's good to hear from you again, but sorry things have progressed to that point. But if she's doing well there, that's about all you can ask for. Don't be a stranger.

Denise1847

Dear Arrowhead,

Wow! You have really been running a marathon. I am so sorry. I totally agree with your comments to Saint Peter. Sometimes I feel like this is a test for us. I just speak to God all the time and tell Him I cannot do this on my own and that I need him to give me the strength, and He does.

LJCHR

Your timetable is very helpful, it gives an idea of the path we could take. So sorry for where you are with your wife - and the poem is so true. I am going to copy that poem for myself.

I guess the one thing we all learn from this dreaded disease is that it never gets better.

Prayers and strength to you and your wife.

Jgirl57

Arrowhead, I am glad placement has been successful. I had recalled your journey on the previous site before the big update . I had wondered about you and your DW. Prayers that placement gives you a moment to breathe and rest.

GothicGremlin

Hi there @Arrowhead - I'm glad that the assisted living facility is nice and that your wife is happy there. It's such a big step. I'm so sorry you are where you are.

I too have been following your journey. For a long while it seemed like your wife and my sister were on similar trajectories and your posts were always helpful for me. Now it seems like my sister has sped up, while your wife has progressed steadily. Alzheimer's is so unpredictable.

In a similar spirit of helping others, here's Peggy's timeline (note: I found out about the MCI period of her journey from her friends long after she had been diagnosed):

Late 2010-early 2011 - first symptoms of MCI began to show at work. She was 52

2016 - Peggy took early retirement. She was 57

February 2018 - Peggy lost her car in San Francisco while coming to visit to me and my s.o.. After a 5 hour search, we found it. Her apathy over it, plus her not being able to find the apartment (we'd lived there for 20+ years) prompted me to strongly recommend her to go see a neurologist.

June 2018 - Neurologist + MRI + PET scan

August 2018 - Peggy was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and FTD. She was 59

2021 - I placed Peggy in memory care. She was 62

Today - Peggy's still in memory care, with severe decline. She can barely walk - she goes nowhere unassisted. For meals, she's between finger foods and hand feeding. Vocabulary is much diminished. If she gets agitated she becomes unintelligible. She's only just turned 64.

Vitruvius

I too have followed your journey. As I read other's stories I always wonder if and when they might have to place their LO. I am sorry it has come to that point for you, but as someone who also had to place their DW I know that you only did it when it became absolutely necessary.

My DW has now been in a MCF for 13+ months. She has only recently turned 72. She is wheelchair bound and must be hand fed minced foods. She sleeps 20+ hours a day and even while "awake" she often sits with her eyes closed. I doubt her eyes are open for more than an hour a day, if that. She rarely speaks and is almost entirely incoherent. But I can still make her smile and even giggle when I talk to her in a light hearted tone, I'm sure she doesn't know what I'm talking about but she recognizes by my jovial tone. All without opening her eyes!

When I placed her in September 2022, she could walk, feed herself, and even converse with me on a simple level. She was diagnosed just three years ago in October 2020, she had just turned 69. On October 11, 2020 she failed to recognize me for the first time (at least the first time I knew she didn't know who I was exactly). A day forever etched in my memory. My first inkling of a problem was only in 2018. This may have been due to her rare dementia, Semantic Dementia (SD) which does not present memory or orientation problems in the early stages. As SD's early stages expresses itself largely in word loss we spent quite a while investigating and treating other potential causes such as her hypothyroidism.

Take care and keep us posted.

Joe C.

Arrowhead, I’m sorry to read of latest challenges on this journey but I’m glad to hear you had a successful placement. Next month will be 2 years since I placed my wife and even though she is happy & well cared for it still hurts.