LIFE IN THE "WAVY TIME" STAGE 8

gampiano

Hello to all,

I'm finally able to collect a few thoughts which might be helpful to share. Not sure how to start, so maybe just jot down thoughts as they come to me.

One of the most prominent features of these past few days has been the overwhelming fatigue that took over almost immediately when my Husband Bob died. The body runs on over drive for months, especially if you are the primary care giver, and literally collapses with exhaustion. . . the hospice chaplain calls this the "wavy time". She admonished me not to drive , get on a ladder, or use any sharp objects for a few days, and she was right, as I knew that my coordination was a bit off.

Yesterday I had a surge of adrenaline and emptied out the garage, lol. And colored my hair..

What a difference !!

Grief and tears come in spurts at weird times, which makes me realize that i'm always on the edge of something.

Now for some of the positives, and there are many:

No more latrine duty!

No more doing laundry at 4:am! (and 10, 2, 6 and 10)

No more cursing about my missing eyeglasses, mail, shoes..... fill in the blanks

No more physical struggling with a very tall super strong man who is fighting me at every turn

No more verbal abuse

No more fiblets

No more hospital bed, commode, walker, wheel chair, pads, depends, wipes, draw sheets, meds ... goodbye to all that!

I don't want to remember the vacant look in Bob's eyes. He was a handsome, sparkling man with great affinity for the natural world. When he could no longer take notice of the sunrise and sunset, which he did every day for 80 years, i knew that he had lost his essence. It was time to go, and as he said to me a few days before he passed, "peel out of here".

Love to all,

Maureen

Ed1937

Maureen, I'm glad you are able to find some positives at a time like this. Those spurts of negatives will likely pop up at times when you least expect for some time. Just coming to write about it is a positive in itself. Thanks for stopping by.

Jgirl57

Thank you for sharing; I like the way you plotted out your thoughts. Continued hugs as your wavy stage 8 lingers.

Jgirl57

miriam marshall

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/66803/life-in-the-wavy-time-stage-8

a friend sent this link, hopeful she could help me navigate what's become so difficult. your post was both devastating to read and a fount of healing energy. i simply cannot thank you enough for writing. i am in a similar situation, in the midst of the MC search. your post has given me strength. so many thanks.

miriam marshall

a friend sent this link, hopeful she could help me navigate what's become so difficult. your post was both devastating to read and a fount of healing energy. i simply cannot thank you enough for writing. i am in a similar situation, in the midst of the MC search. your post has given me strength. so many thanks.