Big Changes Lately

Walter0617

My DW is 69 years old and is stage 6. Not sure exactly where in that stage. Her neurologist says maybe a year to eighteen months till late stage. I've managed her fairly well at home but she seems to be progressing. I have dealt with her illusions for the last couple of years but they seem to be getting worse. She doesn't always know who I am and often thinks I'm her dad. I'm not sure that is a particularly pleasant "memory" for her. The past week she has been accusing me of beating her, raping her and trying to kill her. She ran away and I caught up with her down the street and almost couldn't get her in the car. I managed to get her to the ER but after over five hours of sitting in the waiting room, it was easier to just take her back home. Even though she is on 25 mg Seroquel twice daily and it helps, it only seems to last about 4-5 hours and then we start repeating all the bad behaviors. She threatens to run away and I'm fearful she might try to leave in the middle of the night when I'm sleeping. I've started visiting MC facilities but that could take a month or two to get set up. I'm trying to get her an appointment with her memory doctor at a local med center. I think she might need a psych evaluation or even a brief stay in a geri-psych. Am I overreacting? Her latest outburst came out of nowhere with our two granddaughters (ages 10 and 16) in the car. She was threatening to jump out in traffic and it scared them. Sorry for the long post. I'm just exhausted and needed to express what is happening. I suspect others out there have been through something similar. How did you handle it? What do you suggest?

By the way, I have great support from my two adult sons and their wives, but they, too, are getting worn down. Thanks for letting me vent!

Quilting brings calm

Have you had her tested for a UTI? The behavior is exactly how my mom acted when she had a UTI, which the doctors kept denying. She opened the truck door while at speed and she also ran away to a different apartment because she was afraid of my step-dad. Get that done and then ask the doctor to increase the Seroquel dose and number of times a day. Continue on your plan for further treatment and an MC stay.

M1

Agree that uti testing may be indicated. You've got room to move on her Seroquel dose, could easily go to three times a day and/or increase the nightime dose to 50mg. Definitely inform/consult with the prescriber but that's what i would do....

Joe C.

Walter, I agree with the comments above but the fastest step may be to ask her doctor to increase the seroquil as M1 suggest. My wife started at 25 mg twice a day in stage 6 but over time her neurologist allowed me to increase the dosage to manage her delusions. Over 21 months she gradually got up to 125 mg - 25 mg breakfast, lunch & dinner time then 50 mg at bedtime. It seemed that she would acclimate to the current does after a few months and then we would increase dosage as the delusions started resurfacing. I placed DW 2 years ago and once she was settled in the MC we slowly decreased the seroquil and got her back down to 50 mg per day. She is in early stage 7 and no longer has delusions.

harshedbuzz

@Walter0617

I am so sorry your family is living this nightmare. I would rule out a UTI today; these silent UTIs can cause terrible new symptoms and exacerbate existing ones.

I don't think you are over-reacting. These behaviors are being driven by real anxiety and pain-- best to address that asap. A geri-psych admission through the ER might be your best option for getting help quickly. Asking her current specialist to increase the dose might be an option, too.

I can't speak to your wife's issues with her dad, but sometimes in dementia memories are conflated. My own dad used to be terrified by the plot lines of the crime dramas that were my mom's guilty pleasure. When I'd visit he tell me all about having been raped and murdered the night before. Storms on TWC were a problem for him as he believed all weather was happening to him personally.

HB

Walter0617

Thanks everyone for your input. It is very helpful. In terms of the UTI, that was checked and came back negative. I haven't heard from the doctor yet, but am going to increase the Seroquel to 3 times daily and try to stay ahead of the delusions. I am aware that, for her, these delusions are very real. I can only imagine how painful that must be. Also, I have known since early in our marriage that she experienced sexual abuse from family members. I have a feeling that some of those old memories (the oldest memories are the only ones she has left), might be at the root of these delusions. Since she thinks I'm her dad, so that might very well explain the conflation of me with the abuse she experienced almost 50 years ago.

Again, thanks everyone!

Ed1937

Walter, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. When they tested for UTI, did they send the specimen to a lab? Sometimes the lab will find the finding to be less than correct. My wife had recurring UTIs, and I always asked for the specimen to be sent to a lab for testing. The initial finding was always given within a few minutes, but the specimen was sent in to verify the initial results.

About her thinking that you are her father: Often when people have dementia, the lose the more recent memories, then think of themselves as being much younger than they really are. When she looks at you, she is seeing a man who is older than her husband. That may be why she thinks you must be her father. I'm so sorry she had to have this happen, and now you are the one paying for it. This is such a hard thing all around.