I find it hard to get my head around this!!

charley0419

im Married 54 1/2 yrs , you live most of your life with your mate and know everything about them. You know there moods likes and dislikes then this terrible illness hits someone close and you slowly see a different person emerging , very sad to watch it’s like an illness that surly makes the other suffer in a different mental way. HEARTBREAKING.

LJCHR

Yes, it is heartbreaking. Unfortunately, you look at them out of different eyes. You love them dearly but they go from being your spouse to being your child. This is a horrible disease that is life changing.

Try to stay strong and know that you are their strength.

Ed1937

Charlie, I know what you're saying. I was 20, and my wife was 18 when we got married. She died sixteen months ago after 64 1/2 years of marriage. Her pain is gone. Mine, not so much.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186650#Comment_186650

Was it this illness ??

Ed1937

She had dementia, stage 6 when she passed unexpectedly.

jfkoc

I don't know if I ever got my head wrapped around this illness. I think I mostly just stumbled from day to day trying to make things better or at least run as smoothly as possible. It was exhausting.

charley0419

It’s was exhausting or is ???

SDianeL

You are so right. This disease is heartbreaking and terrifying for both the person with the disease and their caregiver. If you haven't done so, please read the book "The 36 Hour Day" which was recommended by a nurse. It helped explain the disease and gives tips on how to handle the behaviors. Remember it's the disease, not the person. As behaviors emerge, there are medications that may help. I keep a list of the behaviors and send it to all of my DH's doctors. They only see him for a short time and have no idea how he's progressing. It has helped me communicate with them. Caring for a LO with memory loss is both physically & mentally exhausting. This is the place to learn, get support and vent. Sending hugs.

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/186730#Comment_186730

I read book it’s a great help