4 years without a working brain

Crushed

It has been over four years now since DW recognized me or anyone else. Or said a word or responded to a command. She could walk until a year ago. She still eats what you put in her mouth. She likes ice cream. $12,000 a month buys the best of care in the Washington suburbs. I go on cruises and to conferences and vacations with the grandchildren. My daughters stand in for me and wish I had a real social life. But I wake up at 2 AM missing her terribly. I'm jealous of happy couples. I'm 72 She is 71. 50 years ago I was a law student and She was a medical student. We both lived at home. we worked constantly A date was 30 minutes to ourselves. But we were young and the world was ours.

White Crane

Dear Crushed, I don’t really know what to say except my heart goes out to you and to your dear wife. Your love story is magical. You have been a devoted husband and caregiver. This is such a cruel disease.

Beachfan

Crushed,

It saddens me to read this recent update. I think about you, and Josey Wales, and Gig Harbor, and countless others whose LO’s are fading into oblivion, but who remain physically a shell. I was on a parallel path, it seems, with many on this board until I accelerated into the fast lane and DH passed suddenly in April; I truly believed (and feared) that he would linger on for years. My life has changed since April, but missing him and loving him will never change. I know that DH is in a better place and I am in a better place; is it heartless for me to wish the same for others? Please know that I am thinking of all of you always. (50 years ago we were on top of the world as well, with the first of our 3 children and our first home. What I wouldn’t give for one day back.) Blessings.

charley0419

Your feelings aren’t alone. It is what itbis

SDianeL

so sorry about your DW's decline. 2 years ago we were traveling in our RV full time after taking early retirement. Then it all came to a screeching halt. Like life put the brakes on. My DH is now Stage 5 going into Stage 6 with ALZ-PCA. I'm slowly losing him. Your DW is lucky to have you making sure she is well cared for. Your post made me think of this poem:

We Were Young Once

by J. Lee Carruthers

We were young once, and innocent,

Wand’ring ‘neath the leaf laden

Boughs of sturdy oak and maple trees,

Or through lush green meadows,

Watching monarch butterflies flutter,

Gold and brown, on the late spring breeze.

We were young once, and happy,

Running through frothing ocean surf

With sand crack’ling ‘tween our toes,

Or walking hand in hand along the salty beach

And wond’ring,

If this is how love grows.

We were young once, and vibrant,

Dancing to the rhythm

Of our hearts beating in harmony

‘Neath the silvery moon,

While the whip-poor-wills

Sing their unearthly symphony.

We were young once. But no longer.

The innocence of youth has given way

To the wisdom of years,

And in this twilight of our lives,

We cannot mourn the passing of days

Filled to overflowing with hopes and fears,

For we were young once, and loved.

GiGi1963

A beautiful poem but I long for the golden years to share with my loved one. I too am jealous if I hear of couples making plans together. This is a lonely existence.

charley0419