squirreling

Judy.T.

New to this group. My DH was diagnosed with dementia about three years ago. He has been what we call "squirreling". It is when he takes random items and hide them around the house, like a squirrel hides nuts in the yard. It started with his flashlight, he would keep it with him all the time. He started squirreling it, wrapping it is a sock, wrap it up tight with a rubber band hide it in boot, or drawer. It became somewhat comical finding things in odd places, but somewhat annoying. He has a dozen belts, but I have to go on a hunt every morning looking where he squirreled them. I found his coffee mug (missing for weeks) in my sewing room closet, in a box of fabric wrapped in a towel secured with a rubber band. (he has a thing with rubber bands) Most of the time I can roll with it. Even when he put the ice cream in his sock drawer...BUT when he squirrels his hearing aids, glasses or dentures, I tend to loose my mind! It took me 3 months to find his bran new glasses. (we had to buy another new pair before I could find them.) Hearing aids are tiny and very hard to find. Thank God I have perfect hearing, so when he wraps them and rubber bands them they have feedback and make a whistling noise. Tonight was the dentures. After 3 hours of looking, I was in tears and yelling at him. I went through the trash to make sure he didn't toss them. I found them in the garage when I took the trash out. Then came all the questions... When did he go out into the garage? What was he doing in the garage? What else did he squirrel in the garage? I know it isn't him, it is the disease and I shouldn't get mad at him. I am trying my best, but today that doesn't seem to be enough.

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M1

It is very hard, my partner did this at home and continues to do it in memory care. The smaller space and fewer items at MC limit the possibilities, but it's the same phenomenon and i have not found a way to control it. She's been in MC for 18 months and i still occasionally find things in odd places. Fortunately we didn't have glasses, dentures, or hearing aids to deal with, i can only imagine the frustration. At MC I've gotten pretty good at finding items, because the places in her room to do this are fairly circumscribed. But I'll find underwear and bras in her bedside table, sunglasses and toothbrush in her art box, socks in her towel cabinet, etc. Etc. Etc. Welcome to the forum, you've come to a good place.

harshedbuzz

This is a common but frustrating behavior. My dad only did this with things he deemed "important". What helped was locking rooms to limit the number of places he could stash things. He doesn't need access to the garage, guest room, sewing room, or guest bath. Since he had so many clothes, it helped to keep some of them in totes in the garage to make it easier to set things straight when he was rummaging around.

He was fixated on certain IDs, so we made copies and laminated those for his wallet and kept the originals. Just a warning-- I'm told this may be illegal, but I was sick of reordering social security cards.

HB

MN Chickadee

My mom did this and years after she left us we are still searching for things. My dad had to hide his favorite spatula and a can opener from her if he had any hope of cooking dinner. We baby proofed the kitchen with special cabinet and fridge locks, but even if it wasn't perishables it was difficult. We also filled her wallet with fake stuff like a copy of her ID and those fake cards you get in junk mail. I hid anything difficult to replace. We got multiple cheap pairs of glasses so she had some when they went missing. When she moved to MC after a while they started checking her pockets when she left the dining room because she had squirreled away so much silverware. Even when a PWD is provided plenty of stimulation and other outlets they still do this. It's a really hard phase. All you can do is find workarounds for some of it. The hearing aids are tough.

Howaboutnow

I’m sorry…constantly moving things and losing things is bad enough…even more so when they are important things. My DH hearing is bad, but there is no way I’d get him to wear aids much less not lose them. He no longer carries a wallet or phone (nor asks about them). While i don’t have those things to worry about, throughout the day things are moved and put in weird places. Constantly.

You are human, you will lose your cool sometimes. Please don’t be hard on yourself.

ghphotog

Yes, I've never heard it called "squirelling" but that is a good word for it.

My wife did that for several years it seems. Drove me crazy trying to find the tv remotes, etc. Then we lost her wedding ring and for 2 years I guess I searched the house over from top to bottom for it. I gave up on it then a few months ago I was going through her old shoes to donate to goodwill and guess what fell out of a shoe? Yep, her wedding ring.

She seems to leaving this stage as I haven't found pictures, stuff animals, odds and ends stashed in a corner for a while. I learned her hiding places, or most of them anyway. If I don't put the remotes a way each day then she'll pick it up and put in her pocket or somewhere but not like she used to.

My mom on the other hand would never remember where she would put her dentures. I'd spend an hour some mornings looking through everything, every piece of tissue paper in the trash . . . I found them once wrapped in a dirty depends. She's in MC now but she continues to lose her glasses, dentures and other important items. The staff are better at keeping track of those things for her now. . . I hope.

Jgirl57

Welcome Judy T! I too live with a squirrel . Frustrating and humorous.

Namaste1369

My wife was diagnosed with mild cognitive issues, 3 1/2 years ago. She started to hide things about a year ago, and yes, it’s very frustrating. Just like a lot of the others. I found things in the unusual places. I started to call them hide and seek, where she’d hide the things and I had to find them. In a way, this helped me to feel less stressed when this happened, although now the important things are hidden, and it’s more difficult to just except. Somethings that she’s hidden do make sense, and I’ve had to figure out if I were in her place what would I think would make sense. Then there are others that have no reasoning at all. I do hope to figure out ways to keep the more important things in place.

charley0419

Get tiles with gps

Judy.T.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/187516#Comment_187516

I have them, but you can't put them on eye glasses, hearing aids or dentures. I think someone should invent a gps small enough to have in hearing aids. That would be genius!

JJ401

Hearing aids — My new ones are rechargeable and they have an app with geolocation.

mrahope

I so feel you on this. My DH lost his dentures and despite turning the house upside down, it's been weeks and we haven't found them. He's distraught, but since he was in process of having them replaced anyway, we've had to make do with things as they are. I dread him getting new ones and losing those, too! I also know he could benefit from hearing aids, but hesitate to get them because they are so easily lost. More stuff for a frazzled caregiver to track.

Sunshine2024

I absolutely LOVE the term “squirreling”. Made me smile reading this. HWD is losing not squirreling yet. Always glasses. Good tips to put locks up high.

LindaLouise

I had no idea this was common behavior - my DH squirrels toothbrushes, socks, cups, his wallet, keys - and then tells me that someone has been coming in to our house and hiding them. When I find them, he never remembers that he actually put that item in the drawer, or wrapped it in a sock, or tucked them away in the back of a suitcase. I've started hiding the things that I don't want him to hide - keys, phones, remotes - and then I find I can't find them myself. Working on making sure I have a plan where I hide things, now, so we are not both losing things all the time! What a crazy world we live in! So grateful that you all let me know that I am not alone in this sad, sometimes funny and heartbreaking life!

Judy.T.

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/187532#Comment_187532

My DH also thinks someone else comes into the house and steals them. I use to try to explain to him no one would break into the house (Past the locked, deadbolt and alarmed door, video cams, past the dog just to get his flashlight) But I realize this is his reality. If he thinks there are aliens in the driveway, don't argue , just invite them in!