Dad prepared for end of life

mpang123

My dad with dementia has been wanting to visit the cemetery that he will be buried. He said he feels he is dying and wants to see his burial plot. So I drove my mom and dad to the cemetery and my dad was satisfied with the visit. Is this a premonition that he knows he is dying? Is he getting prepared? If he is, I hope he will rest in peace knowing he is loved by his family. We will give him comfort care with lots of love until the day comes. That's all we can do.

Cathymt21

We just found out that my husband has Alzheimer’s. Now, all he talks about is the fact that he is dying. He is kind of fixed on that idea. I’m trying to be positive, telling him that he has plenty of time left, and that we are all going to die at some point, when God is ready for us. We do joke around a lot, and I think that really helps, but he does still talk about it a lot. So I think it’s normal, but I do feel like they need a professional to talk to, if we can get them to talk to someone! That would be my suggestion. I used to be a Dementia director. But that was over 25 years ago and a lot has changed since then! I wish you the best of luck!

mpang123

Thank you sharing. I agree that he needs to talk to somebody. He has a home visit by the palliative care doctor in a week so maybe he can discuss it with her. We'll see....

jfkoc

As death draws closer I think we want to tie up loose ends. In Sweden they even have a thing called "death cleansing".

You might ask your father if you can help with any other logistical or legal matters that might be on his mind. This could include funeral arrangements and/or things he wants to leave to others. There are tactful ways to do this one being "I wonder who is going to want the vase Aunt Sally gave me on my 30th birthday.

I have always felt that the most important thing a "professional" does is to listen and that you can do. Listen to both the words and the emotion between them.

Added....we went through a lot of old photographs. We wrote info on the backs of those we could and put the unidentified in a pile later to be thrown out. Now the children will have an idea of what they are likely to throw out...

SDianeL

My DH was diagnosed 2 years ago and is now moderate Stage 5-6. Lately he's been telling me he wants to go visit the town he was born. He left there when he was a toddler. Of course we can't visit but he talks about it a lot. His brother lived there and we used to visit them once or twice a year. His twin brother who died shortly after he was born is buried there. I think it's a form of depression in my DH's case. If your Dad doesn't seem depressed about it, I wouldn't worry but if he's sad or depressed, talk to the doctor to see if they can give him something.

mpang123

SDiane, my dad doesn't act depressed... maybe frustrated with his current situation... dealing with immobility and dementia symptoms...but I need to give him attention. I think he's lonely...