New to the group

KJRudd

Hi, my name is Kevin. I am 61and was diagnosed with ALZ last august. My family has been very supportive. I am finally telling my friends. They are great, but I still feel alone. Any suggestions?

Iris L.

Welcome Kevin. I'm sorry for your diagnosis. Were you started on memory medication, such as Aricept or Exelon patch? It would be nice if more people with dementia (PWDs) posted. Here on the message boards and in the chat room is where I got my socialization and support. Support is limited in the outside world. Some local chapters of the Alzheimer's Association do sponsor an Early Stage Support Group or Memory Cafe. You might call your local chapter (1-800-272-3900) and ask to speak to the Early Stage Coordinator or to a Care Consultant. I hope you continue to post, Kevin.

Iris

Kharli

Hi Kevin,

i just found this support group because I am often up in the middle of the night, & crosswords & sudoku just aren’t cutting it anymore. Loneliness- yes, I feel you man. I’m far from having this whole experience “down pat”, but I can share how I have been handling it.

I make goofy little things like this that put a smile on my face- then I send them to friends & family who I love & who have been there for me & tell them how grateful I am for them & they laugh too.

I have a 20lb rescue dog who was used as fight-club bait until he was hit by an SUV & rescued- he’s scared of everything that moves, but he’s my Velcro puppy.

And I live in A 55+ retirement community. I’ve been in this apartment complex for 9 months. It’s actually quite nice. I think it would be better if I could still drive, or if I didn’t have such I wretched bout of agoraphobia. Is that from the dementia? It seems like I get increasingly anxious & afraid of … what, I don’t really know, but , irrationally, I don’t feel’ like leaving my apartment. Which really isn’t all that thrilling. I really miss my old out going self. But this is apparently the chapter I’m in, so I try to find ways to laugh at my self. Every time I do go out. I try to meet someone new, & I get their phone number & ask them if I can text them.

Thursday night the complex had Thanksgiving dinner a week early. I went down & made myself sit with a lovely couple & two widows & we all laughed when I told them that my dr told me “brains are like heads of cauliflower, if you bang them into too many things, they just get squishy.” So we kept laughing about my squishy cauliflower brain, which was nice because the widows both missed their husbands, and my other new friend had even more anxiety than me about being out around people- but when we were laughing, and sharing our memories we all forgot about all of that.

Ive always struggled with depression since my first traumatic brain injury, but I learned a long time ago that my brain causes the depression- its not a reflection of the beautiful, hope-filled person I am. As far as I am concerned, it’s probably the same with the dementia. I’m still the same loving person. I’m no longer a type-A or a black diamond skier, but in the BIG picture, I’m alright with letting those pieces go. My family, unfortunately, has always been the worst offenders with stigma related issues around depression & now they’re doing the same with dementia. But I can’t even say that now without laughing a little, because there are some things you just can’t deny. I am not even sure what the benefit is or what they think it is, but it’s actually really really sad, because it’s keeping them from having an intimate connection with me while they can.

Kevin, that’s the last thing I’ll offer that I do to not be lonely. I’m not suggesting any particular higher power/creator/ spirituality etc, but I do know that I have felt the presence of a spiritual connection with me for as long as I can remember. I can’t ever recall not feeling it. And it’s that spiritual connection that has gotten me through many sleepless nights, & moments of self-doubt, I’m very grateful for that presence/connection, especially now, going through this stuff.

I hope you find some comfort in there.

Charli

Iris L.

Welcome to our online support group Charli. You seem to be managing quite well. I hope you keep posting.

Iris

jrnyon

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/66975/new-to-the-group

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/66975/new-to-the-group

Hi Kevin, I was diagnosed with ALZ about 6 mo. ago, and needed to retire early. I moved from Denver to live in mountains with my daughter, her husband, and 2 young granddaughters. So many changes and adjustments but very thankful that they are so supportive. I haven't met anyone near my age yet, and hesitant to go out alone much-except with dog. It would be so nice and helpful to share ideas...

jrnyon

Iris L.

Welcome jrnyon. It's nice that your family has taken you in. I found a lot of cyber-friends here in this message board. I hope members continue to post and support each other.

Iris

Janutt

Hello,

I do get lonely sometimes but I try to pass the time by keeping myself busy with whatever I can do. I started to play my flute after 40+ years ago, I joined our local gym and I also met an older man in his early 70’s with Alzheimer’s. He’s nice. He understands it. I just sold a few soaps that I have made to some people from the gym. I never thought about selling them. I do this for fun. I don’t drive anymore and that’s okay. I sometimes feel like my DH makes me feel like a child a times because he doesn’t want me to be left alone. We have 2 grandchildren now and they keep us busy